My Experience

My Sky Dive is….TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in Family, Fundraising, My Experience, NorthHantsMum Community 0 Comment

EEEKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Earlier in the week I was absolutely terrified about doing my Sky Dive, but at the moment, I’m of the mindset: “Bring it ON!”.

(That might change tomorrow, when I’m up in a teeny tiny plane and there’s only air between me and the ground! lol.)

You’ve probably picked up, that I can be a “tad” dramatic at times – the above sentence being clear evidence of this!

So, I’ve left just two instructions for Mr NHM, just in case anything happens.

They consist of:

1. WWLD? (What Would Louise Do?)

and

2. Delegate!!!!

He may have raised his eyebrows when I mentioned these to him yesterday.

(Although, I don’t think I will need to worry too much, as Miss NHM is already keeping him in check! Hahaha.)

Anyyyywaaaay, thank you very much to everyone who has sponsored me so far.

You are all AWESOME!

If you would like to sponsor me, but haven’t yet, there is still time: https://www.justgiving.com/Louise-NorthHantsMum

Fingers crossed the weather is good tomorrow so I can jump, as don’t think I can cope with delaying it! 😀

Look out for the pictures tomorrow night 😉

Yup, we don’t have a TV

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in My Experience 0 Comment

I’ve blogged before about not having a TV but I thought I would give you a bit more background in this.

We haven’t had a TV for 8 years. I don’t miss it.

I still get to watch things but we are years behind most people on their box sets.

We have a computer in the living room. I was a LoveFilm member for over 10 years and we always watched DVD’s, either films or series, from LoveFilm.

However, in September 2013 our area was finally upgraded to super fast broadband and we haven’t looked back!

We now have Netflix, which I love because you can create different accounts for different people and you can choose to pay month to month, so if I chose not to watch anything this month, I could opt out from paying for a month.

We also have Amazon Prime but I’m not too impressed with this because their customer service is appalling, they treat their staff badly and it’s not that much of a bargain.

However, we LOVE Vikings and it’s only on Amazon Prime, so we didn’t have a choice if we wanted to watch it.

I cancelled LoveFilm about a year ago, which I feel a bit guilty about, but we just don’t have time to watch DVD’s. I’ve had a Lovefilm account since 2002! I don’t feel that guilty though as they are now owned by Amazon, who are taking over the world!

I tend to watch a lot of stuff over winter, but in Spring and summer I don’t have the time to watch anything. (Which is a complete lie because in summer of 2014 I was addicted to Gossip Girl and Vampire Diaries. Don’t judge me :-D)

I know how bad this is going to sound, but I’m glad I haven’t wasted my life watching things that I’m not that bothered about watching.

We never have the “TV” on in the background. I also haven’t seen an advert for years. I am that person who laughs at adverts in the cinema, on the rare occasion we get to go, because I’ve never seen them before! 😀

I now know that TV used to make me miserable. I shout at the TV and cannot bear any reality TV because it just winds me up!

I also am not very partial to the news as that used to make me very stressed. It’s only now, that I don’t have a TV, that I am really aware of this.

TV and Miss NHM

We’ve had a lot of stick from a number of friends about not having a TV with Miss NHM. I was told by one of my cousins that Miss NHM will “need a TV for homework at school”, to which the response in my head was “she won’t be going to a school that sets a TV episode as homework!”.

I’ve also had a few friends say that we are depriving Miss NHM because we don’t have a TV and that she will be bullied at school.

They are probably right and when we get to this point, we will obviously reassess the situation. Plus, if she desperately wants to watch telly she can always pop to her Gran’s or Godfather’s to borrow theirs :-D.

Miss NHM still watches things on the computer. She’s a huge fan of Peppa pig and she loves the film Tangled, as Mr NHM let her watch it without realising it was a PG and not a U. Ho hum.

She didn’t really watch any TV though until she was two and a half years old. That’s probably why there are so many Toddler Games posts on NHM! lol. (See this post HERE for a fantastic link to TV, Game and Video ratings)

Needless to say, at the moment, we see absolutely no reason to get a TV. Miss NHM thinks we have a TV because that’s what we refer too it as, so she’s none the wiser at this stage. She’s only just turned four though, so things may change when she goes to school, but I hope not.

People often ask me how I have the time to be a Mum, an awesome wife (this is a test to see if he’s reading NHM today :-D), work four days a week, run NHM, have another part time job and run a house.

I would argue that one of the main reasons is because we don’t have a TV ;-).

Don’t miss out on future posts like this – you can receive updates directly to your inbox by email by adding your email address to the box on the top right of this page and hitting subscribe. You can also follow NorthHantsMum onTwitter,Facebook Page, Facebook Profile, LinkedIn and Feedly. I hope to see you there! 

My Sky Dive and another favour… ;-)

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in My Experience, NHM Meet Up's and Expo's

In the past twelve months I’ve discovered just how powerful and far reaching NorthHantsMum really is.

The Christmas Food Box 2014 appeal really brought this home to me. I was stunned and delighted to see how the NHM Community pulled together to help those less fortunate than themselves. We helped the team at Basingstoke Voluntary Action smash their previous Christmas box collection. I’m very proud of how many NHM Readers contributed to this appeal.

The NorthHantsMum Christmas Expo was also a resounding success and it was so fantastic to see so many parents and children having a brilliant time. A highlight of that day was when we went for dinner that night with friends who were visiting from “Up North”. Miss NHM still had her face painted from the morning and the waitress asked if we had been “at the event at Playdays”. I was so excited that she knew about it, I nearly hugged her! lol.

I have also seen several local businesses thrive because their Guest Post on NorthHantsMum has been so successful.

I know it’s a huge responsibility to have the influence that NorthHantsMum has and I do my very best to use this influence wisely.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to give back more to the community and also about my “word” for 2015.

So…

My Sky Dive

This year I’ve decided to do a Sky Dive for charity.

It’s something that I’ve wanted to do for a very long time and I’m not going to put it off any more.

The charity that I will be jumping for  is the Bluebells, which is in North Waltham (next to the Wheatsheaf pub on the A30), and part of Sebastian’s Action Trust.

Sebastian’s Action Trust provides respite holidays and vital support to seriously-ill children and their families. The Bluebells is a purpose-built holiday house that was opened in 2011 and is a place of laughter, love, noise and fun.  They aim to welcome 100 families for holidays and 500 individuals on day visits each year.

I first visited The Bluebells in 2013 and it had a massive impact on me. It brought it home to me, that you never know if your children might need a place like this.

We are very lucky to have such a facility like this on our doorstep. It’s not government funded and is maintained via fundraising and public support.

Everything that I raise will go directly to helping this facility continue.

A favour

If you would like to sponsor me then this is my fundraising page:

Anything you can donate, no matter how small, will make a difference to many children and their families.

My Sky Dive is scheduled for Sunday 24th May 2015. You will probably hear a lot about it in the run up to that date ;-).

Did I mention that I’m not a big fan of heights?

How I write NorthHantsMum in 2015

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in NorthHantsMum

Several people have said to me recently that they don’t know how I have the time to write NHM, with everything else going on in my life, so I spent some time thinking a little more about this over Christmas.

I wrote a post in 2013 about how I wrote NorthHantsMum then. I spent three months on my maternity leave setting up NHM (Miss NHM was a sleeper!), and although I’ve learnt a lot since then, I only really dedicate about 2-3 hours a week to blogging.

These are a few of the reasons why I think I have the time to write NHM!

I am “uber” organised

I’ve mentioned on NHM before that there are two apps that are fundamental to my organisational skills. These are Evernote and Remember the Milk. I still use Trello but I use this more as a reference tool for the boards that I set up a few years ago.

I use Evernote to draft out each post. I have two specific folders in Evernote for NHM. One which has post ideas organised by theme and one which has posts organised by month. I mainly use the month post, so I always have the current month and next month in my Evernote shortcuts. Evernote syncs to my iPad, my pc and my phone. So I can literally update a post when I get an idea and it syncs to all of my technology.

I used to have a schedule in Evernote but found I had to keep referring back to it. I’ve found it much better just to add the schedule directly into Google Calendar. I’ve set up a specific calender for NHM which has all the posts I have scheduled for the following month and any activities or meetings that are diarised.

I use Remember the Milk to organise my life. I use this for all of my “to do’s” as well as NHM. It’s a great reminder tool.

I also use Google Calendar. I have several different calendars set up, including one for NHM, one for my husband and another one for Miss NHM. Each month I spend about 10 to 15 mins thinking about which NHM posts I want to add in for that month and add in a calendar notice for each day, showing this. Then, if I don’t get around to updating evernote, it doesn’t matter as it’s in my calendar. This also syncs to my iPad, PC and phone.

I am crap at Birthday cards though. I really don’t seem to be able to get birthday cards out on time, even with multiple Google calendar alerts. I have stack loads of birthday cards that have been bought for people that I never quite got around to sending out. I am going to do my very best to work on this during 2015!!! lol.

We don’t have a TV

Yup, that’s right, no TV. So, when you would sit down to watch TV in an evening, I’m normally on my computer, catching up with people on Skype, working, organising things or doing NHM “work”.

Although, since Mr NHM stopped working shift in July 2014 I don’t get as much access to my computer as I used too. We now have alternate evenings between who has the study, as I can’t write NHM whilst he’s playing his computer games :-D.

However, we do still watch “TV”. We used to watch a lot of DVD’s as we had Lovefilm membership but we now have Netflix and Amazon Prime. I wasn’t planning to get both and I think next time we will stick with just Netflix. I love the luxury of being able to choose what I want to watch, when I want to watch it.

I am that person in the cinema who laughs at all of the adverts because I’ve never seen them before!

I try to only watch an hour of “TV” a day. It doesn’t always work out like that if it’s a good TV series that I’m watching!

I am very strict

I try not to let NHM impact my family life.

I’ve mentioned before that I work four days a week, so whilst my daughter is awake and not at nursery, I’m spending as much time with her as I possibly can.

I do most of my NHM work on Sunday nights.

I delegate and outsource everything that I can

I’ve mentioned before that we have a “lady who does“. Tracy, our cleaner, is my godsend. She comes every couple of weeks for an hour and a half and does all the cleaning that I can’t keep on top of. I learnt several years ago that as much as I love a clean and tidy house, I’d rather use my time to better effect than actually cleaning and tidying it myself :-D.

I have blogged about using online food shopping. We rarely go shopping in a store and I can’t imagine living without online shopping. It has been my saviour on many, many occassions. Oh and I also meal plan, which means I don’t have to think about what we are going to eat every evening.

I also delegate a lot of cooking to my slow cooker. I’m getting a bit of a reputation of being the “slow cooking queen” but it really is a fantastic way of being able to prepare two meals at once in half the time.

Facebook

I don’t like Facebook. I find it very insidious. However, most of my readers access NHM via Facebook so I have to use the tool.

I’ve “liked” a lot of Facebook pages. I’ve set things up so that I get notifications (not emails!) every time specific pages post something to Facebook. This helps me stay on top of what is happening in the area, and ensures that I can keep you informed.

I rarely drink alcohol and I have a good breakfast every morning

I hardly drink any alcohol anymore. Since Miss NHM was born I just haven’t had the energy. Especially when Mr NHM was on shift and I was looking after Miss NHM on my own, I didn’t want to spend the time with her hungover.

It’s not such a bad thing. I more than made up for drinking alcohol in my youth :-D. And possibly at a recent Halloween party, but the less said about that the better!!! lol.

I try to have a good breakfast every morning, to keep me going. I always have a fresh juice (or previously prepared juice that’s been stored in a SIGG’s water bottle in the fridge). I started juicing just over a year ago and I’ve hardly been sick since, compared to before I was juicing.

I also always have a bowl of porridge with either frozen fruit or maple syrup.

This is how I write NHM in 2015

I’m sure this is all deathly boring for you to read but at least now, when people ask me how I have the time to continue to write NHM, I can point them in the direction of this post 😉

Related Posts

22 Strategies for Returning to work

New Years Resolutions 2015

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in My Experience

Happy New Year!!!!!

Hope you had a great night last night and your little ones did too ;-).

A good night changes when you become a parent, from wanting no sleep when you are without children to JUST wanting a good nights sleep when you become a parent! lol.

New Years Resolutions 2015

New Years resolutions don’t work for me. After many years of setting resolutions at New Year, I know they are pointless for me.

Over the last few years I’ve read several blog posts that suggest using one word to sum up your New Years resolutions.

Last year I tried this idea for my New Years resolution and it really worked.

Looking back these would be mine:

  • 2010 – contradiction
  • 2011 – motherhood
  • 2012 – adjustment
  • 2013 – exceptional (not always positive!!)

I actively set my word last year and it worked a treat!

  • 2014 – Me

I know this appears selfish (and it is!) but in the last few years, since I got married and Miss NHM was born, I felt like I lost my way. I stopped being me.

2014 helped me to get back to who I am in conjunction with being a Wife and a Mum.

I think my word for 2015 is…Inspiring.

In 2015 I would love to be inspired and I plan to do some inspirational things.

I have big plans for my life in 2015 and for my jobs and family.

I have MASSIVE plans for NorthHantsMum in 2015.

I’m a planner. It’s who I am.

2015 is going to be the year that I take it to the next level…

I’m excited and energised and really looking forward to you joining me for the ride!

What’s your word for 2015?

Looking back at 2014 on NHM

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in NorthHantsMum

2014 has been an AWESOME year for NorthHantsMum.

I’ve been humbled, overwhelmed and amazed at how the blog has continued to expand.

It’s quite scary to think how many people read this blog (nearly 3000 subscribers!!) on a regular basis now!

Over 500 “new” readers have subscribed to NorthHantsMum during 2014.

I’d love to put together a summary of what’s happened on NHM over the past 2014 but there’s been so much I don’t know where to start!

Below are a few of the highlights that I can remember! lol.

2014 on NHM

March – The first secret Reviewers. Thank you very much to Jo, Vicky and Julie for your secret reviews in 2014. They were all brilliant and I know many readers found them very helpful!

April – First NHM Networking lunch and Spring NHM Meet Up. Am loving both the networking lunches and the Meet Up’s. So great to see readers and their children making new friends and enjoying themselves.

May – Reviews of Festival Place (Giraffe and Marwell Wildlife). Being invited to review Festival Place and Marwell was a massive high point of my year. This made me feel like maybe NHM was bigger than I realised!

June – Summer NHM Meet Up and Winning an Award at the Mums and Business Awards. Still Whooping about this and my award is still in pride of place. Thank you so much again to everyone who voted and for your lovely comments.  😀 😀 :-D.

July – First NHM Networking Evening. These are sooooo successful and are brilliant evenings that I REALLY look forward too! First NHM Summer Picnic. This was a really lovely lunch with lots of great conversation.

August – The 2014 NHM Survey. Thank you very much to everyone who responded.

September – Reviews of Festival Place (The Haymarket, Debenhams and Wagamama’s). Being invited to review Festival Place again was a huge honour. I’m also quite proud of the review posts that I wrote on these experiences as they took a lot of work! lol.

September – Autumn NHM Meet Up. It was lovely to meet some new people.

November – First NHM Christmas Expo – an AWESOME event. So much so, that when we went for dinner that evening to celebrate, one of the waitresses asked if Miss NHM had been at the event at Playdays as she still had her face painted. I could NOT stop smiling! lol.

November/December – Christmas Food Boxes appeal. I’m very proud of my involvement in publicising this very worthy collection.

December – Being invited to review Father Christmas’ Christmas List. Look out for the fab review that my friend Abi did for this, which is due to be published shortly.

Thank you!

I know you are probably all sick to death of me always thanking you.

But I just want everyone to know how very, very grateful I am for all of your support.

It makes my hard work on the blog totally worth it :-D.

Happy New Year and I hope you have an AMAZING 2015!!!!

Why I write NHM in 2014

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in NorthHantsMum 0 Comment

Lots and lots of people have asked me recently why I write NHM and what I get out of it.

One word springs to mind: Ego.

NHM feeds my ego. 😀

(Wow, putting it down on paper, in black and white, makes me look so bad! Lol.)

Although, the more I think about it, it’s not just about my ego.

I love helping other people and trying to make their lives easier, I love sharing information and I’m learning that a life of service is very rewarding.

Volunteering

I like to think that NHM is a service. It meets a need, a gap in the market, by helping new and experienced parents (mainly Mums) who live in the area.

I’ve always tried to help other people. I’ve done a lot of voluntary work in my life. In fact I think I’ve done some sort of voluntary work continuously since I was 15 years old.

I believe that your life’s meaning is based on the number of other people that you “help” (whatever that might mean) during your lifetime.

I also believe that we are all connected and whatever you do to one, you do to everyone, including yourself.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and done some truly spectacularly mean things to people, so I guess this is my tiny way of making up for it, making a positive difference.

I know that there are several competitors out there who provide a similar need but I like to think that I try to build a relationship with my NHM readers.

This is becoming more and more apparent based on the number of hugs I get from people I’ve never met before or people who I haven’t seen in a while (Hi Pam!!! When I saw you again at National Playdays your hug and enthusiasm over NHM made my day!! Thank you!!!)

Connection to the world

My life has changed considerably in just five years.

I used to travel a lot for work. For 10 years I traveled nearly every month for work. At one point I was away from home for three months straight, traveling across Asia, Europe and the US for a big project I was working on. It was awesome and I often miss that part of my life.

I miss the excitement of flying on an airplane. Someone driving me to the airport. Sitting in the first class lounge sipping champagne (yup, really). Eating as much ice cream as I wanted. Having 8 to 11 hours all to myself to watch films back to back with no interruptions and nothing else to do.

I nearly always met a huge diversity of people whilst traveling and nearly always got chatting to whomever was sat next to me on a flight. When I was back home in this country I was out most evenings, catching up with people and going to events and different classes.

I wouldn’t swap my old life for what I have now. Not for all the money in the world! That doesn’t mean I don’t miss bits of it though!

NHM helps me feel connected to the bigger picture

I get lonely sometimes. Mr NHM has worked shifts for the past two years, so I’ve spent a lot of time on my own with Miss NHM. It rocks as we get proper quality time together, but at the same time, I miss adult conversations and interactions and I miss Mr NHM a lot.

When your husband works shift, you essentially put your life on hold. Your married friends don’t want to catch up because it’s supposed to be a “family” get together and your single friends aren’t interested because you always have your child “in tow”.

I don’t interact with as many people as I used to for a number of reasons: I work from home most of the time, my friends have their own families and commitments and my extended family appears to be falling apart.

I also spend a lot of time at home now. I love working from home and I love that I don’t have to go into the office and talk to a bunch of people that I have absolutely nothing in common with. I love that I can take my lunch break with people that I actually like and want to spend time with.

However, I do sometimes miss the social interaction.

Up until 6 months ago I also rarely left the house of an evening. Mr NHM’s shift pattern changed all the time, so it was very difficult to schedule a regular evening activity. Lots of my friends have children, so it’s not very convenient to schedule an evening catch up.

I think that’s also partly why we started doing our part time business. It got me out of the house of an evening, it’s helping people by saving them money and it’s flexible enough that I can work on it when we are available.

I’ve also found the NHM Networking sessions to be very rewarding. It’s so great to come away from a meeting absolutely buzzing. They only happen once a month, but they get me out of the house and making meaningful connections with others.

It’s “easy” to write NHM

I can essentially work on NHM anywhere.

I don’t have to leave the house to do it, I can work on it any “spare” time that I have and can fit it in around my busy day without it impacting Miss NHM and Mr NHM directly.

Feedback

Getting messages and feedback on NHM gives my life a little bit more meaning. It makes me feel like I’m doing something important in the world. Ok, it’s a small world, based in North Hampshire, but it’s a start ;-).

If I’ve had even the slightest impact on you by suggesting a new place to visit, a top tip you hadn’t considered, shared a slow cooker recipe, helped you organise your life a bit better, helped publicise your business, even visit a new playgroup, then it’s all worthwhile.

This is why I write NHM

It keeps me connected to the wider world and I love that NHM is a little bit of help to my readers.

This is why I “give up” my time to write NHM. It’s my labour of love, my “other baby”, and if it’s helped you at any point, it’s been worth it :-D.

Changing Nurseries: My experience

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in My Experience, Nurseries 0 Comment

Warning: This could be a very controversial post… 😉 

When Miss NHM moved up to pre-school, when she turned three years old, we made the decision to move her to another nursery.

She started at her original nursery when she was five and a half months old when I had to return to work.

Moving nurseries was a tough decision but I’m very pleased to say that we haven’t regretted it.

I just wish I had done it earlier, but I didn’t want to be one of “those parents” who moved their child because of the wrong reasons.

Next time I’m not going to be so worried about what other people think!

We paid an absolute fortune for Miss NHM’s original nursery. I stupidly believed that you got what you paid for. Turns out this was a big misguided belief.

Now that Miss NHM has moved nurseries she is like a different person.

She used to get very frustrated and we had a lot of meltdowns which were partly due to being very tired but now I realise were probably due to her being bored.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. The guilt comes and goes ;-).

I know that nurseries have an incredibly tough job to do. Lots of children to look after, government policies, paperwork, etc.

As a parent though, my child’s interests are my priority.

If this post helps just one person who is worried about their child’s nursery, then this post is worth it.

Evidence of a Good Nursery

Are there lots and lots of toys for the children to play with?

Now that I can look back I’ve realised that in Miss NHM’s original nursery each class she moved up into had less and less toys.

The place where she currently goes has about 8 different areas in the room, full of different toys and activities.

Are the children allowed to play outside?

I found that the more outdoor activities there are, the better.

We have friends in Germany and they have playschools who spend their WHOLE time outside, regardless of the weather (they have a gypsy caravan for when it’s really bad). This is such a fantastic idea!

Does your child bring home multiple pieces of art work?

It’s only now that she’s moved to another nursery that I’ve realised that Miss NHM rarely brought art work home with her from her original nursery.

If she did bring something home it was normally once a month and it was invariably a paper plate with some felt pen on it. Nothing more expensive than a paper plate. No sequins, crepe,paper, etc.

In her current nursery, she brings home at least three different pieces of art work a DAY, often with a theme attached, so a paper bird, or a drawing of a crocodile or a model of a monkey.

One of my favourite creations that she bought home recently was an aeroplane made out of a wooden peg and lolly sticks. Very cute.

When you pick your child up, are they doing something potentially dangerous that you would never let them do at home?

I once picked Miss NHM up and she was standing in the middle of the play garden swinging a toy mop around her head.

The staff member told me she had had a brilliant day, whilst my child continued swinging the mop around her head, where she could have potentially hurt many children in the process of her actions.

I literally wanted to slap the staff member.

Is your child more intelligent than the staff?

Yes, this is harsh, but it’s something to look out for.

Are there children fighting, screaming or hitting each other when you pick up or drop off your children? If yes, does anyone stop them?

Many times both Mr NHM and I has to discipline our child and other children in Miss NHM’s room.

The staff were either too distracted or maybe they just didn’t care, that they didn’t stop the children from thumping each other, which horrified me on a number of occasions.

Have you ever seen your child be “picked” on by other children in the room?

It broke my heart the day I saw this.

As if there isn’t enough guilt about putting my daughter into nursery at such a young age, then seeing her being picked on when she was two and a half, by children bigger than her, and nobody stepping in.

Are the nursery flexible or expect you to fit in with them?

I have heard horror stories of parents not being able to pick their children up early from nursery. The children HAVE to stay for the times they are booked in.

This is rubbish. You have paid your money and it’s more important for you to spend time with your child than for them to stay in nursery because that’s what nursery wants you to do.

What is the food like that is served at nursery?

This is my only small criticism of Miss NHM’s current nursery. At her original nursery everything was home made and cooked on site and she had lots of what I would class as healthy meals.

At her new nursery they have been served pizza, sausages and jelly. I let it go because it’s not worth it and if this is my only criticism of our new nursery then I’m fine with this!

You need to be happy with your childcare arrangement’s

Ultimately you need to be happy with your child care arrangements.

I was never happy with the class Miss NHM moved into when she was two.

With hindsight I realise that we should have moved her then.

I’m fairly sure that her behavioural issues then were the result of her being bored. I’m convinced of this as we rarely have a problem since she’s moved to a new nursery.

We only looked at two nurseries and I know now that you really do need to look around.

Ask for recommendations from other parents and go with your gut feel.

Good luck!

22 Strategies for Returning to work

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in My Experience, New Parents, Nurseries, Post Natal, Slow Cooker, Working Parents 0 Comment

(Nearly all of these strategies can be applied to those who aren’t returning to work ;-))

1. De-clutter

Get rid of the clutter before your maternity leave ends. Box up all the baby clothes that you want to keep and put them in the loft and then sort the others out into “recycle”, “give away” and “sell”. (Did you know you can recycle clothes even when they are covered in stains?)

Do not buy lots and lots of toys for your children, they will not appreciate them. Especially as they will be spending some time in nursery or at a childminders or somewhere else that will have toys. The toys that you have, make sure you can tidy them up easily and quickly.

Find a place for everything and “train” the rest of the family to put things back where they belong. In our house, Miss NHM is way, way, way better than Mr NHM at doing this, possibly because it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks :-D. (Hi Darling! :-D)

Make sure there is a place near the front door for your car keys, mobile and wallet. Not too close to the front door and high enough that small children can’t get to them. I have a friend (Hi Jo! :-D) whose toddler was notorious for hiding car keys and she could never find them and was often late to things as a result.

Getting rid of the clutter and giving everything a home reduces the time you spend putting things away and hunting things down. Time you won’t have when you are back at work.

2. Get a cleaner

Our cleaner is awesome. She costs £40 a month and  comes to clean for 1.5 hours every two weeks. Yes, it’s £40 but for the sake of your sanity and spare time, it will be the best £40 you will ever spend. Tracy, our cleaner, has literally saved my marriage on a number of occasions! Lol.

Yes, I know that some of you can’t bear the thought of having someone clean your house (Hi Laura! :-D) but if you can get over it, you will be doing yourself a MASSIVE favour.

3. Don’t iron anything

Yup, I’m lazy and hate ironing, so I don’t do it. If anything in our house needs ironing I get Mr NHM to do it. Or I just don’t buy anything that needs ironing.

If you are desperate, use the hot shower Tip. This saved me on a number of work trips abroad! 😉

4. Meal plan

There is nothing worse than falling through the door after work and thinking “S**t, we’ve got nothing for dinner!?!?!?!”.

This post HERE that I wrote in 2012 is still the system that we follow in our house for meal planning.

5. Have a slow cooker, preferably two

We have two slow cookers. One that is massive (it’s big enough to fit a whole chicken in) and one that is small and makes enough for the thee of us with no leftovers. I’m so in love with my slow cooker that I even take it on holiday with us!!

Roast chicken in the slow cooker is a dream and the leftover chicken can be used the following few days in, chicken salad, paella, etc..

Last year I sent out lots of slow cooker recipes that I have tried and tested. If you would also like a copy of these recipes please email me at NorthHantsMum@gmail.com and I will forward them on again.

6. Beg, borrow or steal* a tumble dryer

This one speaks for itself.

You especially need access to a tumble dryer if you are returning to work before your child has finished weaning.

7. Beg, borrow or steal* a large freezer

I have a “slummy mummy” confession to make… we often “freezer dive” for meals when we’ve both been in the office.

I recommend checking out this link HERE about potential emergency meals. Or make your own if you have time ;-).

8. Beg, Borrow or steal* a dishwasher

And teach your husband, partner, children, how to load it and unload it 😉

9. Batch cook

Check out my previous post about A day of freezer cooking.

I often try to make extra of a meal and feezer into meal sized portions, just to take the pressure off another day.

10. Use technology to its best advantage

Make sure you sync all your email accounts to your mobile. This is mandatory, especially if your nursery or school uses email. It’s also mandatory for keeping on top of things.

Get yourself a Goggle calendar set up and make sure each person in the family has a google calendar and you can access and edit it. This is fundamental for when you are in the office and need to update diaries.

Synchronise your diary with any “adults” in your family at least once a week. Mr NHM and I review the following month every Sunday evening. Without fail. The times we haven’t done this someone there has nearly always been a schedule crisis that week.

11. Subscribe to your doctors, dentists, nursery and vets text message alerts

There will come a time when you get distracted by work and forget to add something to your calendar in your mobile. A text message from the doctors reminding you about your child’s immunisation shot appointments can be a god send! ( I speak from experience here, <blush>).

12. Charge your technology every other evening

This is ironic because I never do this, Mr NHM has to do it for me! lol. However, in my work rucksack I have chargers for each mobile (I carry three with me) and I also splashed out and bought mobile chargers for my car.

13. Get a car with a hands free phone built in (but only if you can afford it!!)

This has revolutionised my life. I actually have conversations with my friends these days, albeit nearly always on the way to or from work.

14. Find a reliable Babysitter

We asked around at Miss NHM’s nursery and her key worker has been our babysitter for the past two years. She’s pretty much part of our family now! lol.

If you are struggling with finding a babysitter, please check out my previous post on NHM HERE.

15. Have a regular Date Night

I know that going on a regular Date Night when your children are small is really tough. It’s so worthwhile though. We can really tell in our household, when Mr NHM and I haven’t been on Date Night for a while 😉

If you are looking for some suggestions of what to do, please check out these previous posts HERE, HERE and HERE. Or, just arrange for a babysitter and go out for a walk. It’s a great way to chat in a neutral environment whilst getting some light exercise at the same time.

16. Find a mobile hairdresser

You will not have time to make a hair appointment because they are nearly always in working hours. Unless you want to get up early on Saturday morning, but who wants to do that after a week at work! So find someone who can come to you out of normal working hours. It will save your sanity, and hair many, many times.

Check out these pages on NHM for a list of mobile hairdressers and mobile beauticians

17. Do NOT schedule lots of classes on the weekend to make up for your guilt about putting junior into nursery in the week

This one speaks for itself ;-). Weekends should be family time.

18. Online Food Shopping

Learn how to order your shopping online BEFORE you go back to work and try to find an online service that has an App on your phone. I actually cheat and use a competitor app because it’s really good, and then transfer it across to the supermarket I use when I make an order ;-).

We also have a regular vegetable delivery each week and fresh fish delivered to our door every two months. It’s one less thing for me to think about.

19. Before your maternity leave starts, try to wean yourself of any TV soaps you are addicted too

You won’t have time to watch them when you return to work. Yes, seriously.

20. Only have one child

Ok, so this one is a little bit flippant, but I’m well aware that having more than one child is at least double the work and then some.

I have no idea how people with three or more children manage it. Mucho respect!

21. Find something for YOU!

When I returned to work I became a mother, wife and worker and it felt like I was nothing but those three roles. However, you are still you, with hopes and dreams. You still need time to be you, so do not feel guilty about taking time out for yourself. I know this is easier said than done. I’ve been there.

But you will be a better Mum, wife and worker if you do make time for yourself. Have a look at this post HERE I wrote a few years ago, for some ideas for time for yourself.

22. You are doing an amazing job!

Every so often, when at work or at home, congratulate yourself on being a superior multi-tasker.

Being a parent is very hard at times and the learning curve can be very steep, but it’s an amazing life skill :-D.

*Obviously I don’t really mean you should steal these items 😉

Returning to Work: My experience

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on in My Experience, Nurseries, Post Natal, Working Parents 0 Comment

I haven’t written about returning to work on NHM yet because it was a very painful experience for me. I think it was probably the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. However, three years on, I think I’ve come to terms with it all.

One of the ladies mentioned in the recent NHM Feedback Survey that: ” Would love more tips on balancing going back to work with having young babies, feeding everyone & running a house whilst being the breadwinner & having a lot if work pressure & a blackberry to deal with…!!!”

All I can say is, I feel your pain.

I returned to work when Miss NHM was 5.5 months old. It nearly broke me. I’d planned to return to work when she was 7 months old. However I had to return to work much earlier, partly because we needed the money (I’m the main earner in our family) and also because at the time, if you didn’t return after 6 months, your company didn’t have to give you back the job you left before you went on maternity leave. I spent 15 years getting to a fairly senior position and I didn’t trust that the place that I worked would give me back my previous role.

I also ended up going back earlier than originally planned because I had to start my maternity leave early due to my SPD. I was also drafted for Jury Service when Miss NHM was 8 months old. I had already deferred it once as they wanted me to attend Jury Service when I was 8 months pregnant. Given it was January (snowy season) and I couldn’t get off the sofa without crutches at the time and couldn’t drive, I managed to defer.

However, this was a bit of a logistical nightmare. I was apparently the first person to express as a Juror in over 7 years! lol. It was pretty cool though, as I got out of a huge murder case because I needed to express at lunchtime. Oh and a Jury had to be thrown out of a room because they didn’t have anywhere else that was private enough for me to express! lol. I digress.

The week before I returned to work, I bargained with my husband and cried many bucket loads of tears as I did NOT want to go back to work. Not when my baby was so tiny. I didn’t want her to be looked after by a stranger, three days a week (I was very lucky to return to work 3 days a week for the first three months). I was still breastfeeding and continued to do so for the following three months at work. The first time she came home smelling of someone else was horrific.

The first day back to work wasn’t too bad. The second day was absolutely horrendous. At lunchtime I sat in a cupboard on the floor (because the chair they had arranged for me was actually a rotating stool) using a double breast pump in the only top that I could fit into that was still smart enough for work, sobbing my heart out. Yup, it was horrendous.

Then there was the whole Breastmilk tampering scenario and work accusing me of having post natal depression because I went ballistic when I realised someone had tampered with my breastmilk. Luckily my health visitor at the time totally had my back and told me to tell Occupational Health at work that they didn’t know what they were talking about. Not sure that helped though! lol.

It did get easier though. I stopped crying on the drive to work. I’m pretty sure that having to get up very early to feed Miss NHM and then having Miss NHM cluster feed in the evening didn’t help. Oh and the lack of sleep because she was teething. We got through it though.

I think that’s possibly why I’m a complete nazi at home when it comes to organisation. You have to be. I juggle many, many things. I spent the first 8 months after maternity leave working in the office, doing a job that was absolutely rubbish and not what I had originally signed up for. I spent the whole time wishing I was at home with my baby. I am very, very grateful that it wasn’t full time.

I started using a lot of technology to organise my time. Evernote, Mealboard, Trello, Remember the Milk and the list goes on. I vividly remember the first six months at work my “home” to do list had over 70 “must do” items on every day. It never seemed to end.

My slow cooker came into it’s own as I’ve talked about many times on NHM. I was regimented in everything we did. Once I started to rely on technology, RTM and Evernote came in so handy because I stopped having to try to remember it all. I think that’s half the battle.

I think my one piece of advice for a Mum who is trying to “do it all” is, make sure you take some time out for yourself. Even if it’s just a minute, to take a very deep breath. No one told me that and I went on and on and on and nearly had a breakdown.

Thankfully I had the motivation to find a better job and I managed to secure a new job, which I’m still doing now and which I absolutely love. It helps that I work from home most of the time too, so I don’t have wasted time in a commute.

Working with children is bloody hard. But then, if I spent all day at home with Miss NHM, I would have lost my identity and probably completely lost the plot in a different way. So not working with children is also bloody hard too! lol.

Now I have some perspective and can look back, I’m glad I returned to work when I did. Miss NHM loves nursery and she has never had a problem with clingyness at nursery as it’s always been part of her routine. It was hard though. The hardest thing I’ve ever done, as I said, other than breastfeeding.

Whatever you end up doing it’s going to be wrong for some reasons and right for others. Trying to get over the guilt is half the battle. Trying to get organised is the other half ;-).

Look out for tomorrow’s post which is a list of my suggested strategies for making your return to work that bit easier.

If you are returning to work soon or have returned to work after Maternity Leave, what advice would YOU offer others?