Ooh Mama Choir

Ooh Mama Choir was set up in 2012 by Kate Barrett, after having been inspired by Gareth Malone and his ‘Military Wives’ choir.

Mummy to two young boys, with a passion for music, Kate decided to start her own choir to give mummies that much needed ‘me time’ each week.

With no auditions and the only requirement being that you are a mummy (whether you have young children, older children or even grandchildren), Ooh Mama provides the opportunity for fun, music and socialising.

Having started with just a handful of members, Ooh Mama is constantly expanding and is always open to new members!

Ooh Mama is also a proud member of the ‘Basingstoke Festival of Choirs’.

At Basingstoke music festival

We meet every Tuesday 8pm – 9.30pm at Christchurch Chineham.

The cost is £10 per month.

You can find out more at:

Website: http://oohmamachoir.org.uk/home

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/OohMaMa/

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When should you buy your child their first shoes?

When should you buy your child their first shoes?

Buying shoes for babies is such a minefield, it can be hard to know what to do. Here we will share some of the information we have found useful and you can make your own decisions.

Baby’s feet are still soft and not fully formed so it’s important that they wear supportive shoes which give them space for them to grow.

Toddlers don’t have a visable arch like adults and older children so they can look flat footed.

It’s common for children to walk with feet that turn inwards as their leg and ankle bones are developing. They normally align properly by 7 years old but check with GP if you are concerned.

Clarks

Clarks offer shoes from pre-walking. They are ‘specially’ designed to add protection . They are lightweight and flexible with seamless interiors that don’t rub. There are also whole and half sizes and a choice of widths. They then offer first shoes which have padded ankle supports and protection for the toes and still offer whole sizes as well as half sizes and different widths. Clarks also offer a free fit check after 6-8 weeks too.

With a bit of digging around the Clarks website, you can see that they even say “It is best to allow your child to go barefoot when possible in the early stages of walking to allow feet to breath and feel the floor”

http://www.clarks.co.uk/yourfeet/kidsfoothealth/factsforparents

The College of Podiatry

Here the advice is quite different to Clarks. They suggest that once a child has taken a few steps unaided, they are then ready for shoes. They suggest ensuring shoes have the following features:

  • Close cropped soles to prevent tripping
  • Room for movement and growth
  • Soft leather uppers for cool comfortable feet
  • Lightweight, flexible sole to aid walking development
  • Whole and half sizes in a choice of widths
  • Fully adjustable fastenings
  • Padded ankle for protection and support.

http://www.scpod.org/foot-health/for-parents/baby-first-shoes/

Made for Mums

Made for Mums says that when babies are born their feet and legs are curved having spent a long time cramped growing in the womb. As they grow their feet straighten out and you must make sure socks/shoes don’t cramp their feet so they can grow straight. They say that the Society of Chiropodists and Podiatrists say toddlers shouldn’t wear proper shoes until they can walk well (approximately 6 weeks of walking). They recommend places such as Clarks, Next and Start-rite.

http://www.madeformums.com/baby/buying-your-babys-first-shoes/33297.html

Baby Centre

Baby Centre says that you don’t need to buy babies their first shoes until they are walking confidently on their own and to only put them in shoes when they are walking outside. They say that walking barefoot around the house enables better balance and coordination and allows feet to develop naturally.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/x1047721/when-should-i-buy-my-baby-her-first-pair-of-shoes

What are your experiences of buying shoes? Any recommendations of places locally to get children’s feet measured and/or buy shoes? Let me know!

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Basingstones

This is such a brilliant idea!! Well done Rachel for setting this up!!!!

Basingstones

Whilst being away for a few days with the family, we came across a fab craze in Dorset which I think our children here in Basingstoke and Hants will absolutely love.

I have set up a facebook group called Basingstones.

Everyone can join in the fun, young and old, and anyone in between. You just paint a stone, write ‘Basingstones’ on it and hide it somewhere. Perhaps in one of our lovely parks here in Basingstoke, by a bench, under a tree, anywhere you like.

The idea is that someone will find your stone and smile. It may even brighten their day! Hopefully they will post a photo on our facebook group page so we can all see how far our stones travel.

Then our Basingstone finder can either re-hide the stone, or keep it and replace it with a new stone.

You can paint the stone however you wish, perhaps with a pretty pattern, a fun cartoon character, an inspirational quote or an artistic design, for example. Sharpie pens, permanent markers, nail polish, paints and varnish all work really well.

It is encouraging us as a family to get outdoors, be creative and spread some joy.  It has certainly kept us busy and entertained this half term break and without damaging the bank balance.

I hope everyone loves the concept as much we do and gets involved and has some fun.

Enjoy! x

Rachel

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Review 2017: Arbonne Makeup Range

Thank you very much to the NHM secret reviewer who wrote today’s post!!!

Great review and I wish I’d had the time to agree to doing this one myself!!! lol.

Review 2017: Arbonne Makeup Range

When NorthHantsMum asked for a reviewer for makeup the ‘pre-mummy’ me woke up and jumped at the chance for a bit of pampering. I’d come across the Arbonne brand in the form of nappy cream which worked well when Big J was born so was very excited to try their make up range.

Natalie arrived at my house with a lovely bag of goodies and explained a bit about them all, luckily for my sleep deprived brain she also left me some information about them all.

I have to be totally honest and say I wasn’t sure how much time I’d have to apply makeup (or how often the Small J’s would let me) but I did manage to try it all out a few times and most days I used the makeup primer. It only took me 30 seconds to apply and as promised it made my skin feel smooth and look refreshed. Even if there was no time for anything else I could manage this daily.

I’ve always struggled to find foundation to match my pale skin but Natalie explained that Arbonne supplied the foundation for the Twilight movies, thankfully I’m not vampire pale and the Honey Beige perfecting liquid foundation suited me well and had the added benefit of SPF protection. It worked so well I didn’t even have the need to try the liquid concealer with it although when I used it on its own it did a good job of covering up how tired I am!

On the day of Small J’s christening I was able to steal a bit more me time and tested the setting pretty translucent loose powder out. It complemented the foundation well and when I went to remove my makeup that evening it was still there to remove despite running around all day. The bronzer, mascara and lipliner finished off my look and I felt ready for all the photos and live web broadcast of the christening!

The shea butter handcream was declared a winner by Mother in Law J and Mr J got involved testing one of Arbonnes nutrition range. Arriving home from work exhausted he knocked back a energy fizz stick and enjoyed the pomegranate flavour and felt that it was a good pick me up.

The Arbonne brand is dedicated to sustainability with their ‘Evergreen commitment’ which amongst other things includes providing cruelty free formulas, vegan certified and commitments to recycling, water conservation and carbon neutrality.

Natalie Hall can be contacted on 07909334102, at nathallarbonne@hotmail.com or via www.nataliehall.arbonne.com

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ChillMAMA Pregnancy Meditation with Marie Behenna

If you are expecting a baby and need help to mentally prepare, as well as take time to connect with your growing baby, or even have a fear of what type of labour awaits you, the ChillMAMA Pregnancy Meditation with Marie Behenna is now available to download for just £2.99.

This 13 minute affirmation and mediation piece is on the same shorter version taught in Marie’s Basingstoke classes and written in her book The FitMama™ Method (Souvenir Press 2912)

Marie Behenna has helped 1000’s of women in the run up to giving birth, with fitness classes, one to ones, and meditation.

Download Links:

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/chillmama/id1292661821?i=1292661832

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/6FJIoGcjlDc2HdCyh6ftZ7

Amazon: http://amzn.eu/jhvDlQw

CD Baby: https://store.cdbaby.com/m/cd/mariebehenna2

Follow this link to read about the live recording by producer Garry Webb of Prodbear: http://prodbear.co.uk/blog/

Best wishes

Marie Behenna

Director : Studio 41 Fitness Ltd

Founder & Author: The FitMama™ Method

www.fitmamastudio.com

Www.studiofortyone.co.uk

Tel:  01256 369 291

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Review 2017: Tot Cross Buns

Thank you very much to the NHM Secret Reviewer who put this post together!

Last month, my son made an amazing toad in the hole. He’s two years old. Before I sign him up for Masterchef, I should probably give some appreciation to the brilliant ladies at Tot Cross Buns.

About

Tot Cross Buns is a cookery course for children aged 2 to 5 years old, with occasional Saturday cookery classes that also welcome school age children. Their website says ‘The aim of Tot Cross Buns is to introduce children to food through taste, smell and touch all in a fun and relaxed environment. They’ll be cooking healthy recipes (some treats too!), which have all been tried and tested, and will involve the children every step of the way – and there will be no washing up to worry about!’ The classes also include a food related activity carried out whilst the food is cooking.

The classes are located at various sites in North Hampshire, close to Basingstoke, with times, locations and prices available on their website Tot Cross Buns. The business is the brainchild of local mum Allison and the classes are run by Allison and another local lady, Kerry, who runs the classes we’ve been attending.

The Class

First off I should admit, I’m a little bit in love with Tot Cross Buns. I went for a taster session last month and we have been back every week since. I’d never heard of the idea of cooking classes for toddlers before and had only seen places offering biscuit decorating etc. Here, not only do recipes include Toad in the Hole, pasta, rosemary biscuits etc, they concentrate on being healthy, with the very occasional cheeky spoily week. They teach about the foods they are using, where they come from, and tend to carry this into the week’s activities.

 

Kerry, as I’m sure Allison does too, takes the time to point out each ingredient and encourages the children to find the right ones and do as much as possible themselves. She goes around and helps where needed with support and a little one-to-one. She encourages involvement, asks lots of questions, and doesn’t miss a trick either; she will hone in on the quiet ones to make sure they feel involved (that includes my little one, and I still can’t believe he now shouts out answers to the group questions). She also encourages independence, getting the children to carry their trays up on their own, put the dirty bits in the washing up box, and collect their baking one at a time, with a round of applause at the end.

The activities themselves are well thought out and relevant to what is being cooked. From colouring, to tasting, to washing up, to planting herbs. Always different and always grabs the children’s attention whilst being educational.

All this, plus you come away with great baking too!

They also recently won the Muddy Stiletto Award for best children’s business in Hampshire 2017. Congratulations! Well deserved.

Rating out of 5

Definitely 5 out of 5

For more information contact Allison on Tot Cross Buns website or Tot Cross Buns Facebook Page

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Basingstoke Jiggy Wrigglers 

From 5th October 2017

⭐️Jiggy Wrigglers is an award winning, fun and affordable musical activity group for babies, toddlers and preschoolers.  A place for you and your child to meet and make new friends.

We sing bounce wriggle and jiggle to upbeat music with puppets musical instruments and bags of surprises followed by free play with our toys and FREE refreshments.

  • YOU DONT NEED TO BOOK
  • NO block bookings
  • Pay weekly as you go
  • Siblings go FREE
  • FREE hot and cold drinks and refreshments for all.
  • NEW customers always welcome

Groups running are

THURSDAY

Hill Rise Community Hall, Brighton Hill      Jiggy Mixed 10.00-11.00
Jiggy Baby 11.15-12.00

Jiggy Mixed is £4.00 per family
Jiggy Baby is £3.00 per family

A special introductory offer which will run until Christmas is 3 for £10 for Jiggy Mixed and 4 for £10 for Jiggy Baby!!

There will be a very special guest to welcome you all to our first session!

Childminders are welcome.

Please check regularly for new groups starting soon.

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Movin Monkeez free offering

 

Our aim is to get as many children ‘movin’ as possible! Therefore we’re launching a FREE online group for your little Monkeez! Some monkeez have more energy then others and some families like to encourage fitness in a fun way. If you fit into any of these categories then this could be a fab group for you…

Movin Monkeez operates in nursery/pre-schools, infant and junior schools across the UK and we want to spread our love for keeping fit and leading healthy lifestyles.

What do you get:

  • 7 days worth of challenges
  • a secret Facebook support group with video challenges
  • easy to follow exercises that can be done anywhere
  • a downloadable certificate of participation
  • some fun food challenges

If you would like to join then please ‘like’ this post and invite yourself to the group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/906722552814968/

The Movin Monkeez team
X

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We ARE keeping a “Sitting with Jane” bench in Basingstoke! WHOOOOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When the first 12 Lot’s (benches) started bidding at £3000 my first thought was “ah well, at least we’ve raised £1000 for Ark Cancer Centre Charity“.

My second thought was “PHEW!! I don’t need to work out what happens next if we win one!!!” Hahaha.

Then, Lot 13, “Girl Power” came on the screen and they started playing the Spice Girls in the background.

And I started to get a tingly feeling in my tummy…

The bidding started at £3K. Then it dropped to £2K. And then it dropped to £1K and I felt my hand shoot up into the air, with the bidding paddle.

Now, it’s a huge responsibility to bid with other people’s money and there was a LOT of expectation. Running a campaign like this is a huge honour and privilege, one which I don’t take lightly.

I was shaking ALL night.

Several of the benches raised £7K and I felt a teeeennny tiny bit out of my league.

Had it not been for Sue, Rachel and Cathy who came with me, I would have been a dribbling mess on the floor.

And then the Auctioneer said, “anymore bids?”…”Anymore?”…

Sue and Rachel were sat next to me and were clutching my arms and I LITERALLY didn’t breathe for about 5 minutes. At least that’s what it felt like.

“Going once”….

“Going twice”…..

And somebody put in a bid at £1250.

GUTTED!!!!!

And that was it.

I thought it was all over.

I think I literally sagged in my chair.

I heard someone behind me bid for £1500. Then the bidding closed.

And then I got a text.

From Laura at The Topiary, who was sat at the back of the auction.

We had a conversation in the week that we would collaborate if things got a bit hairy in the auction and it didn’t look like either of us would get a chance of getting one.

And in her text it said “I’ll give you the £500”. “You can have it xxx”.

So, we got it!

“Girl Power”.

(Not the best pictures as I was STILL shaking at this point. However, I expect to see far better pictures of this bench in the future! lol).

Thank you!!!!

I need to say a HUGE thank you to the following people, without whom we never would have stood a chance.

My beloved husband, Mr NHM, whose encouragement and belief in my “crazy” ideas is never ending.

Sue – who took Miss NHM and I to see our first bench at the Walled Garden and got me caught up in this whole thing!! Your friendship and unfailing support means so much to me.

Rebecca at The Typeface Group who has been so supportive along this whole journey and who kept me going when I got back from holiday at the end of August and I thought I’d lost momentum.

Mark at The Ark for his brilliant support, enthusiasm and encouragement and Michelle for her wonderful support!!

Steve and Charlotte at Festival Place for their support and encouragement.

All of the NHM Ladies who believed we could do it and donated:  Wendy, CathyW, Lilian, LauraE, Zoe, Cathy, Karen, Lisa, Helen, Gisella, LauraW, Juliet, Emma, Sue, Sally, Mary, Sarah, Allison, Ceri, Katie, SueS, Victoria, Julie, Rebecca, Jules, Eleanor, Pauline, Michele, Jaz, Rachel, Natasha, Stephany, Kath, Sharon, Sarah, Claire, BeckyT, Lisa, Emily, Pam, Cat, Lyndsey, Rebecca H, Stephanie, Gillian. Thank you!!! You are ALL AWESOME!!!!!

Everyone who entered the competition and helped to raised the profile of the campaign. All of the children looked FANTASTIC!!!!

Mike O’Neil at Action Trophies for his very generous donation.

Nicky from Ma Humbugs Old Fashioned Sweet Shop for her generous donation.

John from Tidal Bay Crazy Adventure Golf for his VERY generous donation (£250!!!) about 30 minutes before the event started. STREEEESSSFFULLLL!!!!! Hahaha

Laura from The Topiary for her INCREDIBLE donation and without whom we never would have stood a chance of getting the bench.

Apologies if there is anyone whom I’ve missed off. I’ve barely slept a wink! lol.

What happens next?

Although I had a very strong feeling that we would get a bench, I hadn’t quite sorted out any of the details about what happens if we actually did!! lol.

I am looking to donate the bench to somewhere that people can still access the bench and where it will be indoors so that it lasts for a very long time. If you have any sensible suggestions please do let me know at NorthHantsMum@gmail.com.

Otherwise it’s going on my Mum’s front drive! 😀 😀 :-D.

Also, if you know of anyone who might be able to help me move the bench as it needs to be removed by Monday (18th September), please do get in touch!!!!

Finally

I would really love to get a little plaque for the bench which will say:

“I dedicate this bench to all of the Mums, and their children, in North Hampshire”.

We did it.

Thank you!

You are all AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx

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NHM Readers: “Cry it Out”

I recently asked the Friends of  my “Louise nhm Smith” profile on Facebook if anyone had any suggestions “My baby boy cannot be left to ‘cry it out’ as he gets himself so worked up which can end up in vomiting or choking! He eventually goes down at night but will not fall asleep other than on me and daytime naps are even harder since birth he flatly refuses to sleep once we lie him down. He just spits out dummies”. This mummy is really struggling with lack of sleep and needs some extra advice and support.

These were the responses I received. They are in no particular order. Thank you very much to Shona for putting these together! 

NHM Readers advise when a baby can’t be left to ‘cry it out’

Gemma said: I had this, I used to feed to sleep and got into a massive rut and a lot of sleepless nights. I did pick up put down technique, you need to be consistent as I tried and wasn’t ready and went backwards but then I was ready and it doesn’t take long to implement, after awhile we just had to tap our lb’s bottom. Good luck!

Pick up Put Down Technique – Made for Mums

Victoria said: I had this with my boy. I had to pursue the screaming and being sick. I would go in and lie him back down and keep doing it if he was sick clean him up and start again. I would try to lay him back down before he was sick. It took about a week/two weeks but it worked, before I did this I slept on his floor and all sorts trying to get him to settle, it was so hard and painful. Xx

Jenni said: Hiya, how old is your baby boy? Also have you contacted the health visitor, we had a sleep specialist come and although she told us everything we already knew it was nice to have support and encouragement. Our little girl was over two though.

Libby said: Went to a cranial osteopath with our first at 9 months old as she cried whenever put down. It was like a miracle! Cranial osteopath said she had a stiff neck down one side due to birth and did a few things while I held her. She went all relaxed like having a massage and the crying reduced massively and she could actually be put down. If not that then some babies are just snugglers, our 4th sleeps in our bed and we don’t mind as long as we are all asleep!

Kathryn said: How old is he? When my daughter was little she napped in the sling, now she’s 8 months she goes down for some naps in the cot but normally feeds to sleep. I wouldn’t do CC (controlled crying) or CIO (cry it out), babies cry for a reason.

Rachel said: We did something which was similar to cry out (but the health visitor was very keen to stress it isn’t)… put them down for nap/bed, do the normal routine and say “night night mummy loves you, back in a minute”. You literally go back in a minute and reassure them they’re ok by saying “night night, mummy loves you, back in a minute” over and over. They say it works from 6 months old, not so good on over 4’s. 3 days and my little one was sleeping through the night (our issue was 15 months old and still waking us up in the night, we’d managed to switch milk for water but he still wanted us at least once a night).

Lizzie responded: We did this too, only at 5 minute intervals. It took a week (and it was a hard week!) but it worked. My little girl was about 4 months when we did it. Her sleep since got thrown out again after going away lots and the hot weather over the summer, so we’ve since had to do it again. This time it only took a few days.

Heidi said: Have you had him checked for reflux? I’m not an expert, but crying when lying flat is often a symptom. Huge hugs, sleep (or lack of!) is so hard to deal with. I tried loads of things with my 2, none of which worked. In the end I saved my sanity by just accepting that was how they were and believing they would grow out of it in the future. Sometimes accepting is easier than fighting.

Karen said: I had this with my oldest when he was little. I couldn’t do the controlled crying, it was just too stressful and felt cruel to me (not judging anyone else for doing it, was just how i felt with my son, we all have to do what’s right for us individually) so I just used to sit in with him. We also had a single bed in his room as well as the cot, so on really bad nights I could just sleep next to him and actually get some sleep. With the sitting on the floor I started right next to the cot holding his hand and then every few nights would start just a little further away until I was sitting on the landing rather than in his room. There were still some nights where it all went backwards but gradually he got used to sleeping on his own. Looking back I realise it was a very short phase in the scheme of things, it just felt like it went on ages because it was so exhausting. So try to hang on the fact that it won’t last forever he will grow out of it.

Rachel responded: ^^^ this works. Used this for my daughter (a few times every now and again we’d have to reset her bedtime). Didn’t work with my son, but take a cup of tea, no eye contact or interaction and if young enough phone on night mode (didn’t bother my daughter). I actually quite enjoyed my 30 minutes of silence sat on her bedroom floor reading ebooks.

Rachel said: Oh so little, raise the cot one end, if it’s reflux related it might help. Fresh air and short walks until little one is asleep then head home. Leave baby in pram/pushchair but loosen outdoor clothing (my radiator was switched off in hall so it was always cool, and lots of blankets rather than coats so I could easily remove layers). Fresh air always helped me think clearer too.

Jenni said: Wow at 4 months, to be honest I would say this is completely normal. Still get in touch with health visitor though. I also lay my kids on their tummy at that age and found that helped.

Caitlin said: I fretted and worried over my son falling asleep on me but it doesn’t last forever. By around a year old he would be happy to fall asleep in his cot so they definitely grow out of it. I would say enjoy the cuddles while he’s little because they grow up so fast and soon you will be sad because he doesn’t need you to go to sleep anymore! Also if he stirs once you’ve put him down I would make a point of not picking him up and just pat/rock with your hand and shh. He should go back off without too much fuss as long as he doesn’t have a chance to properly wake. At this age it should take him around 20 minutes to be in a proper sleep so try waiting until you put him down.

Sarah said: My boy would only sleep on me for daytime naps unless we were out in the car or with the pushchair right up til he was one when I went back to work. My childminder would put him in the pushchair and go for a walk at nap time then gradually all she had to do was put him in the pushchair and push back and forth for 5 mins in the house until he fell asleep. We’ve been co-sleeping at night because he wouldn’t stay asleep in cot for very long on his own. Now he is independently sleeping in our bed we have moved the cot bed next to ours (one side removed and attached to ours with bungee cords so there is no gap) and when he falls asleep we are moving him into the cot until he gets used to sleeping there.

Charlotte said: Cry it out isn’t recommended especially at 4 months old. Contact your health visitor they can support and give strategies to help.

Louise said: 4 months is still so tiny. It really isn’t forever. Research is showing more and more that sleep (the elusive “self settling” and “sleeping through the night”) is a developmental milestone rather than something you can train. CIO isn’t something I could do personally, as it just didn’t feel right for us, but having an awful sleeper I feel for you. I do think 4 months is difficult to label them as bad sleepers though as they aren’t ready or able to manage by themselves at that age. I found the less I looked at the clock and less I counted the sleep I wasn’t getting the less pressure I felt and the happier I was.

Becky said: We’ve tried many things as our daughter’s routines have developed. We found that different things worked for a little while but then she’d change. Currently what works best for us is a consistent bedtime routine followed by putting on classical music and leaving the door slightly open so she knows we haven’t abandoned her. I should add though, she’s nearly 2.

Emma said: Sorry I haven’t read every other comment. The biggest issue is for the mumma to get some sleep, it will put everything into perspective. I didn’t sleep for 9 months, in similar circumstances and ended up having exhaustion. Some people can cope with little sleep more than others. I think the important thing is to get baby quickly checked for reflux etc, possibly borrow a baby carrier to see if that helps during the day and then find someone to help cover you for a night or for part of a day and get some sleep yourself. STOP worrying about house / hair / make up etc and just use every precious moment you have to sleep. These times are hard, somehow we all make it out the other side with our own stories. Don’t be too ashamed to ask people around you for help to get some sleep. X

Claire said: At 4 months they are too young to try CC or CIO methods.(which I am against anyway. But each to their own). They may have an underlying issue (could chat to HV about) or they could just like their cuddles. Some babies stay in the “4th trimester” longer. Have u tried baby wearing? Also this lady has a lot of excellent advice & also does 1-1 consultation to help establish the root cause

Jennie Harrison – Sleep deprived mum’s coach

Skye said: Co sleep? Wear him during the day so you can get things done and he isn’t feeling abandoned. Some research into attachment parenting and/or 4th trimester might help. Also, wonder weeks app might give any indications if he is going through a developmental leap. Please don’t try CIO or CC. 🙁

Rebecca said: Both of mine napped in the pushchair, reclining but not completely flat. I have done CC with both of them but definitely wouldn’t try it at 4 months.

Helen said: At 4 months my little one napped in a sling or buggy and at night it was feed to sleep and co-sleeping using a cot attached to the side of the bed. 6 months later she was sleeping in her cot always and from just over a year slept through the night. Don’t stress about rushing to the cot, there’s plenty of time and you’re not creating bad habits.

Wendy said: At 4 months this isn’t a baby issue, this is a partner issue. How many nights a week is your partner doing? By all means look into things such a reflux but the best solution is for your partner to take responsibility a couple of nights a week. If you are on your own ask for someone to stay over occasionally so you can sleep.

Charlotte said:  At 4 months there is a well known (not to me with my first) sleep regression. It’s hideous and the exhaustion can be overwhelming. I do not believe cio or cc work esp with such a littly. May be worth reading the wonder weeks book for development spurts that link to poor sleep periods, the no cry sleep solution book for gentler methods. I’d also strongly recommend getting a sling to use in the day and if needed to get to sleep at night, reflux checking and asking g for support. Support for someone to have lo so mum can nap through the day, support with cooking and cleaning so those jobs don’t feel overwhelming. This sounds like normal baby sleep behaviour. Neither of my 2 slept, in fact my 2 yr old is still going through a bad phase so I am now about to have a nap. Good luck to the mum, as some have said acceptance and support are the way to go esp at this young age.

Lisa said: My daughter, now 4, has serious medical issues and we left hospital at 2 weeks old with the fleeting instruction of ‘don’t let her cry hard for more than 30 seconds or so because she’ll go very blue and her organs will starve of oxygen’. That put the pressure on a bit. I have to say we are no role models and have no good bedtime routines as such but this was a case of survival. So, we just went with it. If she wanted cuddles, we cuddled, if she went to bed, I went to bed, if she fell asleep, I fell asleep. She co-slept (not necessarily suggesting this) and still does. She averaged about 6-8 hours broken sleep in 24 hours for 2 years. I’m not sure my story helps but my advice would be to just go with the flow, don’t resent the lack of sleep just accept it. That really helped for me, took the pressure off. And remember this stage is not forever. Big hugs tired mummy x x Oh and I would echo the comments for getting him checked out for reflux and other health issues just so you know what you’re dealing with. There used to be a place in basingstoke that sold reflux wedges (pillows). In intensive care they taught us a trick ‘a heavy hand resting on the tummy’ is quite soothing. We would start with a hand and then replace with a surgical glove filled with warm (tepid so you don’t feel heat or cold when you put your fingers in it, not hot) water. Obviously need to remove it when it cools and observe common sense safety precautions. X Oh and I would echo the comments for getting him checked out for reflux and other health issues just so you know what you’re dealing with. There used to be a place in basingstoke that sold reflux wedges (pillows). In intensive care they taught us a trick ‘a heavy hand resting on the tummy’ is quite soothing. We would start with a hand and then replace with a surgical glove filled with warm (tepid so you don’t feel heat or cold when you put your fingers in it, not hot) water. Obviously need to remove it when it cools and observe common sense safety precautions. X

Charlotte said: My little one was very clingy but putting a hot water bottle in the bottom of the crib for a bit before I lay him down worked really well (and still does at 11 weeks) it was the movement from warm mummy to cold bed which he didn’t like. Xx

Karen said: Sorry I haven’t had time to read all the comments. I have no advice to give really but wanted to say as someone who has been there it doesn’t last forever. My youngest had reflux so also couldn’t cry it out. I hope you get some support either from a partner family or friends who can look after lo while you catch up on sleep. Sending hugs as know how tough it is x

Jennie said: In addition to the advice above this is probably the best article on infant sleeping I have ever read (and I’ve read loads!). X

The Huffington Post – conversation with a co-sleeping expert

Gail said: Could be colic. So a baby carrier during the day and lots of boobie or bottle at night time and more baby carrier!! He is only 4 months, lots of walks in a pushchair. Don’t worry it won’t last forever!! If you are bottle feeding, milk allergies are very common. So you could try wysoy for a week just to see if it improves!!

Rachel said: I’m probably predisposed to think of it as it happened to my LO but he had an undiagnosed cow’s milk protein allergy and so was only comfortable sleeping upright on someone as he had pain in his tummy and didn’t like lying down. Maybe if all the other advice doesn’t work it’s worth ruling out especially if there’s a family history of allergies and there’s other symptoms such a persistent vomiting. Good luck, it’s so hard!! Xx And I’d definitely echo the other advice of getting some support, an hours nap in the day can make you feel like a new woman!! ️Xxxx

Marie said: I would certainly check baba out for silent reflux. Babies who don’t enjoy lying flat and who are clingy are often diagnosed with this painful heartburn condition. Either bottle or boob fed, it can affect both. Particularly if mum had antibiotics during pregnancy as these can affect baby’s gut health. I would advise asking GP for infant gaviscon to start with and supplement milk with probiotics to heal the gut and see how baby gets on… hang in there x

Aimee said: I spent the first few weeks/months sleeping upright in bed with my son on my chest tapping his back all night (i’m not kidding, all night!). I knew something was wrong from the start but no one would listen, after a huge emotional breakdown my HV listened and referred me to a paediatric consultant and he was put on Neocate for unidentified intolerances and he was a different baby within a week! He’s now nearly 7, grown out of most intolerances and just takes movicol for chronic constipation. Hang in there, don’t be afraid to keep complaining until your baby is seen by a qualified doctor. Be a complete pain in the bum for your own sanity so you can finally enjoy this wonderful time. Good luck x

Lindsey said: I had similar with my eldest who wouldn’t sleep unless close by in the day. When he was tiny he would only sleep if held or in his baby chair. I couldn’t transfer him to a cot as he would just wake up and scream. He did have reflux so possibly because it was uncomfortable to be flat although he would settle in his cot or crib at night. As he got older, he would only nap on the sofa or a mat on the floor. It wasn’t just at home as he didn’t like the cots when he started nursery at 10 months and slept on the floor mats like the older children. It was tough as it made it hard to get on with jobs while he was napping, but a forgotten memory now, but he still likes cuddles and is approaching 7.

Katie said: My little girl hated lying flat to sleep when she was younger. During the day we used to lie her on her front in her carrycot where we could keep an eye on her. She used the carrycot at night too instead of a Moses basket. She had silent reflux and I think the sturdier base helped her. We got a bean bag when she was around 3 months old and this really helped her to sleep during the day after feeding as she was propped up more. Moved her into a cot when she got too big for carrycot and put books under the head end to raise it slightly. Also used a folded blanket under her head which she still has now at 14 months. She started weaning early at just over 4 months and this really helped with the silent reflux and made her more comfortable and she was able to sleep a lot easier. I know weaning early is not for everyone but hopefully it will help too when you decide to do it. It doesn’t last forever and now she is a really good sleeper. Get plenty of rest when you can and don’t be scared to ask others for help so you get a chance to catch up on some sleep. As a first time mum I found this hard but it really did make things easier. X

Kimberley said: Worth looking at allergy of milk u use or breast if u eat milk products. Ask for help from health visitors. Good luck.

Marie said: My little boy was similar to this. Would cry so much he would vomit. At 5 months we sleep trained him. Best thing we ever did. I read everything I could find on the Internet, downloaded e-books and leaflets. I then came up with a plan to suit me.

First we established a bedtime routine – bath, pajamas, story, bottle, bed.

Then I sang him a song and cuddled/rocked him.

Once I put him down I said “night, night, mummy loves you” something like that.

Then I left the room. Of bourse he screamed. After 30 seconds I went back in and strokes his face and repeated “night, night, mummy loves you”.

Left the room and waited 1 minute and repeated.

Every time I left the room, I waited an extra 30 seconds.

I only ever left him 5 minutes at a time (though the research said longer). Only took 3 nights and each night the crying got shorter. I found the vomiting stopped as he calmed every time I went into the room. First night I remember it took an hour, then 20 minutes second night. Then less than 5 minutes the third night.

Hope that helps.

Liz said: Reflux? Both my daughters had it and would not go to sleep without being sat upright in bed on me, exhausting. They had meds for it eventually which worked after me nagging at the HV and doctor xxx

Sarah said: Neither of mine slept well til about 1yr. It does not last forever.

Agree with: cranial osteopath – helped my daughter. Go get checked out by Dr for reflux. Plus see Health Visitor.

Try baby massage. Helps with all kinds of things and can really promote sleep.

Go to Basingstoke Sling Library and borrow some slings to see if that helps in the day (or night when pacing floors as it helps the arms!)

Could try safe co-sleeping methods or mattress/bed by the cot/crib.

Could try wedge, lifting cot so that baby is never completely horizontal. Plus put a t-shirt around the mattress – a smelly t-shirt you have worn and sweated in for a few nights so it smells of you and your parfume/deodorant. Worked with both mine.

I also used white noise machine, baby music machine, warm bath with lavender, blackout blinds, regular routine (to the point of same pjs put in same place, same sleeping bag, same story, same song, same words and even me with the same jumper every night for months.)

Ruza said: So at four months, my boy would fall asleep in our arms, best times ever or in the pram/pushchair on a walk out. I have never done the controlled crying, personally I believe it produces too much anxiety in small ones. So nap time in the day was for both of us when I needed it. Sleep time at night was achieved with soft lullabies and rocking and then quiet sleep. Elliot slept in the same room till six months. I was lucky that at weekends I swapped sleeping arrangements with my husband. Elliot did not have a daytime sleep in his cot till about 15 months but that was something that evolved between me and his childminder.

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