I’ve always been really worried about exposing Miss NHM to technology stuff that isn’t age appropriate.
I mentioned this to a fabulous friend of mine recently and she sent me the link to this FANTASTIC website.
If you are looking for suggestions of age appropriate Apps to download or which films are suitable, etc. I recommend checking this website out.
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/
Thanks very much fab friend :-D.
Louise sent me the details for this as it doesn’t seem to be well known, even though Hampshire is one of the most flexible counties.
I really wasn’t aware of this, so thank you very much Louise for the details!
I’m sure it will be useful to a LOT of NHM Readers.
There’s also a Facebook group called “Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns” if you want to join the community.
Thank you to Charlotte for the following links too: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/summer-born-children-school-admission
Warning: This could be a very controversial post… 😉
When Miss NHM moved up to pre-school, when she turned three years old, we made the decision to move her to another nursery.
She started at her original nursery when she was five and a half months old when I had to return to work.
Moving nurseries was a tough decision but I’m very pleased to say that we haven’t regretted it.
I just wish I had done it earlier, but I didn’t want to be one of “those parents” who moved their child because of the wrong reasons.
Next time I’m not going to be so worried about what other people think!
We paid an absolute fortune for Miss NHM’s original nursery. I stupidly believed that you got what you paid for. Turns out this was a big misguided belief.
Now that Miss NHM has moved nurseries she is like a different person.
She used to get very frustrated and we had a lot of meltdowns which were partly due to being very tired but now I realise were probably due to her being bored.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. The guilt comes and goes ;-).
I know that nurseries have an incredibly tough job to do. Lots of children to look after, government policies, paperwork, etc.
As a parent though, my child’s interests are my priority.
If this post helps just one person who is worried about their child’s nursery, then this post is worth it.
Now that I can look back I’ve realised that in Miss NHM’s original nursery each class she moved up into had less and less toys.
The place where she currently goes has about 8 different areas in the room, full of different toys and activities.
I found that the more outdoor activities there are, the better.
We have friends in Germany and they have playschools who spend their WHOLE time outside, regardless of the weather (they have a gypsy caravan for when it’s really bad). This is such a fantastic idea!
It’s only now that she’s moved to another nursery that I’ve realised that Miss NHM rarely brought art work home with her from her original nursery.
If she did bring something home it was normally once a month and it was invariably a paper plate with some felt pen on it. Nothing more expensive than a paper plate. No sequins, crepe,paper, etc.
In her current nursery, she brings home at least three different pieces of art work a DAY, often with a theme attached, so a paper bird, or a drawing of a crocodile or a model of a monkey.
One of my favourite creations that she bought home recently was an aeroplane made out of a wooden peg and lolly sticks. Very cute.
I once picked Miss NHM up and she was standing in the middle of the play garden swinging a toy mop around her head.
The staff member told me she had had a brilliant day, whilst my child continued swinging the mop around her head, where she could have potentially hurt many children in the process of her actions.
I literally wanted to slap the staff member.
Yes, this is harsh, but it’s something to look out for.
Many times both Mr NHM and I has to discipline our child and other children in Miss NHM’s room.
The staff were either too distracted or maybe they just didn’t care, that they didn’t stop the children from thumping each other, which horrified me on a number of occasions.
It broke my heart the day I saw this.
As if there isn’t enough guilt about putting my daughter into nursery at such a young age, then seeing her being picked on when she was two and a half, by children bigger than her, and nobody stepping in.
I have heard horror stories of parents not being able to pick their children up early from nursery. The children HAVE to stay for the times they are booked in.
This is rubbish. You have paid your money and it’s more important for you to spend time with your child than for them to stay in nursery because that’s what nursery wants you to do.
This is my only small criticism of Miss NHM’s current nursery. At her original nursery everything was home made and cooked on site and she had lots of what I would class as healthy meals.
At her new nursery they have been served pizza, sausages and jelly. I let it go because it’s not worth it and if this is my only criticism of our new nursery then I’m fine with this!
Ultimately you need to be happy with your child care arrangements.
I was never happy with the class Miss NHM moved into when she was two.
With hindsight I realise that we should have moved her then.
I’m fairly sure that her behavioural issues then were the result of her being bored. I’m convinced of this as we rarely have a problem since she’s moved to a new nursery.
We only looked at two nurseries and I know now that you really do need to look around.
Ask for recommendations from other parents and go with your gut feel.
Good luck!
Mine does. EEEEEKKKK!!!!!
How did that happen!?!?!?!
Ok, so rather than write a very long post about how I’m still in shock that Miss NHM could possibly be big enough to start school next year, instead I’m going to share what I’ve learnt about the process so far…
I was expecting a letter or something through from the council, but so far I’ve just been given a small leaflet by Miss NHM’s nursery.
I was expecting something a bit more official than this, and what about all those children who don’t go to nursery?
Who is going to advise them that they need to apply for school places? Hence this post…
I’ve also come to the conclusion that the lack of letter is because it’s in the interest of the council for us NOT to know what we are doing. This way, there won’t be quite the bun fight for school places that there would be if everyone knew what to do!
The application process opens on 1st November and closes on Thursday 15th January.
You need to apply for your place during this time.
DO NOT MISS THIS DEADLINE!
The first thing you will probably want to do is check Hampshire County Council Admissions policy.
This covers things related to siblings at school, ability and catchment areas. You can do this here: http://www3.hants.gov.uk/admissions
You then want to identify which schools you are interested in. You can do this here: http://schoolsfinder.direct.gov.uk/
I would then find the websites for the schools you are interested in and check when their open days are. It is recommended that you visit the school so you can get a real feel of what they are like.
A couple of schools have their open days in the evening (HALLELUIAH for us working parents!!!) but most seem to have their open days during school time.
It seems that some of the open days you can take your little one too and some you can’t, so probably best to check with each school first.
If you need any help with the application process you can visit any Hampshire infant or primary school, or a Children’s Centre or you can call 0845 603 5623.
The national notification date will be Thursday 16 April 2015.
Hampshire County Council recommend that “Parents who apply online will be able to log back into the online system to learn the outcome of their application from 16 April”.
You won’t be the only one sat in front of your computer that morning clicking refresh too! lol.
Good luck and fingers crossed we all get the school of our choice on 16th April!!!!
I found out a while back that you can book online for Shoe Fittings at most Clarks stores.
I tried it out for the store in Hatch Warren Mothercare during the October Half Term last year and it worked a treat!
No hanging around and waiting for other people to finish their appointments. Just turn up at the slot you’ve booked and 15 minutes later out the door.
That’s the kind of service that I love, even if the shoes do cost a FORTUNE!
(Nearly all of these strategies can be applied to those who aren’t returning to work ;-))
Get rid of the clutter before your maternity leave ends. Box up all the baby clothes that you want to keep and put them in the loft and then sort the others out into “recycle”, “give away” and “sell”. (Did you know you can recycle clothes even when they are covered in stains?)
Do not buy lots and lots of toys for your children, they will not appreciate them. Especially as they will be spending some time in nursery or at a childminders or somewhere else that will have toys. The toys that you have, make sure you can tidy them up easily and quickly.
Find a place for everything and “train” the rest of the family to put things back where they belong. In our house, Miss NHM is way, way, way better than Mr NHM at doing this, possibly because it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks :-D. (Hi Darling! :-D)
Make sure there is a place near the front door for your car keys, mobile and wallet. Not too close to the front door and high enough that small children can’t get to them. I have a friend (Hi Jo! :-D) whose toddler was notorious for hiding car keys and she could never find them and was often late to things as a result.
Getting rid of the clutter and giving everything a home reduces the time you spend putting things away and hunting things down. Time you won’t have when you are back at work.
Our cleaner is awesome. She costs £40 a month and comes to clean for 1.5 hours every two weeks. Yes, it’s £40 but for the sake of your sanity and spare time, it will be the best £40 you will ever spend. Tracy, our cleaner, has literally saved my marriage on a number of occasions! Lol.
Yes, I know that some of you can’t bear the thought of having someone clean your house (Hi Laura! :-D) but if you can get over it, you will be doing yourself a MASSIVE favour.
Yup, I’m lazy and hate ironing, so I don’t do it. If anything in our house needs ironing I get Mr NHM to do it. Or I just don’t buy anything that needs ironing.
If you are desperate, use the hot shower Tip. This saved me on a number of work trips abroad! 😉
There is nothing worse than falling through the door after work and thinking “S**t, we’ve got nothing for dinner!?!?!?!”.
This post HERE that I wrote in 2012 is still the system that we follow in our house for meal planning.
We have two slow cookers. One that is massive (it’s big enough to fit a whole chicken in) and one that is small and makes enough for the thee of us with no leftovers. I’m so in love with my slow cooker that I even take it on holiday with us!!
Roast chicken in the slow cooker is a dream and the leftover chicken can be used the following few days in, chicken salad, paella, etc..
Last year I sent out lots of slow cooker recipes that I have tried and tested. If you would also like a copy of these recipes please email me at NorthHantsMum@gmail.com and I will forward them on again.
This one speaks for itself.
You especially need access to a tumble dryer if you are returning to work before your child has finished weaning.
I have a “slummy mummy” confession to make… we often “freezer dive” for meals when we’ve both been in the office.
I recommend checking out this link HERE about potential emergency meals. Or make your own if you have time ;-).
And teach your husband, partner, children, how to load it and unload it 😉
Check out my previous post about A day of freezer cooking.
I often try to make extra of a meal and feezer into meal sized portions, just to take the pressure off another day.
Make sure you sync all your email accounts to your mobile. This is mandatory, especially if your nursery or school uses email. It’s also mandatory for keeping on top of things.
Get yourself a Goggle calendar set up and make sure each person in the family has a google calendar and you can access and edit it. This is fundamental for when you are in the office and need to update diaries.
Synchronise your diary with any “adults” in your family at least once a week. Mr NHM and I review the following month every Sunday evening. Without fail. The times we haven’t done this someone there has nearly always been a schedule crisis that week.
There will come a time when you get distracted by work and forget to add something to your calendar in your mobile. A text message from the doctors reminding you about your child’s immunisation shot appointments can be a god send! ( I speak from experience here, <blush>).
This is ironic because I never do this, Mr NHM has to do it for me! lol. However, in my work rucksack I have chargers for each mobile (I carry three with me) and I also splashed out and bought mobile chargers for my car.
This has revolutionised my life. I actually have conversations with my friends these days, albeit nearly always on the way to or from work.
We asked around at Miss NHM’s nursery and her key worker has been our babysitter for the past two years. She’s pretty much part of our family now! lol.
If you are struggling with finding a babysitter, please check out my previous post on NHM HERE.
I know that going on a regular Date Night when your children are small is really tough. It’s so worthwhile though. We can really tell in our household, when Mr NHM and I haven’t been on Date Night for a while 😉
If you are looking for some suggestions of what to do, please check out these previous posts HERE, HERE and HERE. Or, just arrange for a babysitter and go out for a walk. It’s a great way to chat in a neutral environment whilst getting some light exercise at the same time.
You will not have time to make a hair appointment because they are nearly always in working hours. Unless you want to get up early on Saturday morning, but who wants to do that after a week at work! So find someone who can come to you out of normal working hours. It will save your sanity, and hair many, many times.
Check out these pages on NHM for a list of mobile hairdressers and mobile beauticians
This one speaks for itself ;-). Weekends should be family time.
Learn how to order your shopping online BEFORE you go back to work and try to find an online service that has an App on your phone. I actually cheat and use a competitor app because it’s really good, and then transfer it across to the supermarket I use when I make an order ;-).
We also have a regular vegetable delivery each week and fresh fish delivered to our door every two months. It’s one less thing for me to think about.
You won’t have time to watch them when you return to work. Yes, seriously.
Ok, so this one is a little bit flippant, but I’m well aware that having more than one child is at least double the work and then some.
I have no idea how people with three or more children manage it. Mucho respect!
When I returned to work I became a mother, wife and worker and it felt like I was nothing but those three roles. However, you are still you, with hopes and dreams. You still need time to be you, so do not feel guilty about taking time out for yourself. I know this is easier said than done. I’ve been there.
But you will be a better Mum, wife and worker if you do make time for yourself. Have a look at this post HERE I wrote a few years ago, for some ideas for time for yourself.
Every so often, when at work or at home, congratulate yourself on being a superior multi-tasker.
Being a parent is very hard at times and the learning curve can be very steep, but it’s an amazing life skill :-D.
*Obviously I don’t really mean you should steal these items 😉
I haven’t written about returning to work on NHM yet because it was a very painful experience for me. I think it was probably the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. However, three years on, I think I’ve come to terms with it all.
One of the ladies mentioned in the recent NHM Feedback Survey that: ” Would love more tips on balancing going back to work with having young babies, feeding everyone & running a house whilst being the breadwinner & having a lot if work pressure & a blackberry to deal with…!!!”
All I can say is, I feel your pain.
I returned to work when Miss NHM was 5.5 months old. It nearly broke me. I’d planned to return to work when she was 7 months old. However I had to return to work much earlier, partly because we needed the money (I’m the main earner in our family) and also because at the time, if you didn’t return after 6 months, your company didn’t have to give you back the job you left before you went on maternity leave. I spent 15 years getting to a fairly senior position and I didn’t trust that the place that I worked would give me back my previous role.
I also ended up going back earlier than originally planned because I had to start my maternity leave early due to my SPD. I was also drafted for Jury Service when Miss NHM was 8 months old. I had already deferred it once as they wanted me to attend Jury Service when I was 8 months pregnant. Given it was January (snowy season) and I couldn’t get off the sofa without crutches at the time and couldn’t drive, I managed to defer.
However, this was a bit of a logistical nightmare. I was apparently the first person to express as a Juror in over 7 years! lol. It was pretty cool though, as I got out of a huge murder case because I needed to express at lunchtime. Oh and a Jury had to be thrown out of a room because they didn’t have anywhere else that was private enough for me to express! lol. I digress.
The week before I returned to work, I bargained with my husband and cried many bucket loads of tears as I did NOT want to go back to work. Not when my baby was so tiny. I didn’t want her to be looked after by a stranger, three days a week (I was very lucky to return to work 3 days a week for the first three months). I was still breastfeeding and continued to do so for the following three months at work. The first time she came home smelling of someone else was horrific.
The first day back to work wasn’t too bad. The second day was absolutely horrendous. At lunchtime I sat in a cupboard on the floor (because the chair they had arranged for me was actually a rotating stool) using a double breast pump in the only top that I could fit into that was still smart enough for work, sobbing my heart out. Yup, it was horrendous.
Then there was the whole Breastmilk tampering scenario and work accusing me of having post natal depression because I went ballistic when I realised someone had tampered with my breastmilk. Luckily my health visitor at the time totally had my back and told me to tell Occupational Health at work that they didn’t know what they were talking about. Not sure that helped though! lol.
It did get easier though. I stopped crying on the drive to work. I’m pretty sure that having to get up very early to feed Miss NHM and then having Miss NHM cluster feed in the evening didn’t help. Oh and the lack of sleep because she was teething. We got through it though.
I think that’s possibly why I’m a complete nazi at home when it comes to organisation. You have to be. I juggle many, many things. I spent the first 8 months after maternity leave working in the office, doing a job that was absolutely rubbish and not what I had originally signed up for. I spent the whole time wishing I was at home with my baby. I am very, very grateful that it wasn’t full time.
I started using a lot of technology to organise my time. Evernote, Mealboard, Trello, Remember the Milk and the list goes on. I vividly remember the first six months at work my “home” to do list had over 70 “must do” items on every day. It never seemed to end.
My slow cooker came into it’s own as I’ve talked about many times on NHM. I was regimented in everything we did. Once I started to rely on technology, RTM and Evernote came in so handy because I stopped having to try to remember it all. I think that’s half the battle.
I think my one piece of advice for a Mum who is trying to “do it all” is, make sure you take some time out for yourself. Even if it’s just a minute, to take a very deep breath. No one told me that and I went on and on and on and nearly had a breakdown.
Thankfully I had the motivation to find a better job and I managed to secure a new job, which I’m still doing now and which I absolutely love. It helps that I work from home most of the time too, so I don’t have wasted time in a commute.
Working with children is bloody hard. But then, if I spent all day at home with Miss NHM, I would have lost my identity and probably completely lost the plot in a different way. So not working with children is also bloody hard too! lol.
Now I have some perspective and can look back, I’m glad I returned to work when I did. Miss NHM loves nursery and she has never had a problem with clingyness at nursery as it’s always been part of her routine. It was hard though. The hardest thing I’ve ever done, as I said, other than breastfeeding.
Whatever you end up doing it’s going to be wrong for some reasons and right for others. Trying to get over the guilt is half the battle. Trying to get organised is the other half ;-).
Look out for tomorrow’s post which is a list of my suggested strategies for making your return to work that bit easier.
If you feel like you might be a bit behind on your education or you need a refresh of some subjects, you might be interested in the Khan Academy.
You can learn about maths, art, computer programming, biology, finance, medicine, history and more.
They say:
Khan Academy is an organization on a mission. We’re a not-for-profit with the goal of changing education for the better by providing a free world-class education for anyone anywhere.
All of the site’s resources are available to anyone. It doesn’t matter if you are a student, teacher, home-schooler, principal, adult returning to the classroom after 20 years, or a friendly alien just trying to get a leg up in earthly biology. Khan Academy’s materials and resources are available to you completely free of charge.
I haven’t actually had a chance to do any of the courses yet, but they looks really good and the reviews of the site are extremely positive.
Books have always been important to us. We’ve made a concerted effort to read to Misss NHM as much as possible. Mr NHM read the Gruffalo to Miss NHM on the day she was born.
When Miss NHM was very tiny I borrowed as many of the “That’s not my…” books from the library and purchased them from Nearly new sales and read them to Miss NHM. She also had a black and white book that a friend bought for her birth present which Miss NHM loved. Black and white books are supposed to be good for small babies.
I have always been a huge fan of our local library and going to the library when I was on maternity leave and after was a regular activity for us. They have a great selection of books of wonderful variety. Plus, you can order books online for the bargain price of 50p which is much better than paying full price for a book. I’m very conscious that we have a small house and as much as we love books, they sometimes turn into clutter!
It’s no secret that I absolutely adore Usborne books. When Miss NHM was six months old I bought the Apple Tree Farm box set from the Basingstoke NCT Nearly New sale (normally in March/April and October)) for £5 (total bargain!) and read them to Miss NHM every day. By 13 months old she could spot the usborne duck on most pages. I was amazed that she could do this as such a young age. The first page of each book in this box set is always the same and “Rusty” is still the name for all dogs for Miss NHM! Lol.
When Miss NHM was 15 months old I purchased another Usborne box set called the Phonics Readers from the Basingstoke Original Nearly New Sale (next one is this weekend!).
I also continued to read the Gruffalo to Miss NHM and have perfected the voices of the characters. Lol. When Miss NHM was 17 months I purchased “Monkey Puzzle” by the same team as the Gruffalo and this has also been a favourite book. Mr NHM has some favourites that he reads to Miss NHM such as Bear Snores on.
In Miss NHM’s bedroom she has a bookshelf with books that are hers and that she can “read”. She went through a stage of tearing the pages in her books which really irked me, but that stage didn’t last long and the books were repaired. I now often find her asleep in her bed surrounded by her books. She reads them our loud to herself and to her bedroom toys. It’s very important to me that she has access to her books in her room so she has control over what and when she reads.
When Miss NHM was 2 3/4 I persuaded her paternal Grandparents to get her the Very first Reading boxset from Usborne for Christmas (her only present from them). It was on special and priced at £30 for 50 small books. She absolutely LOVES this box set and is now “reading” the stories on her own. She memorises them so fast it amazes me. The books are very simple stories that progress in difficulty but range from classic stories to ones from around the world. Miss NHM’s favourites at the moment are “The Phoenix and the Dragon” a Chinese story and “Old Mother Hubbard”.
I recommend finding your local Usborne book lady and asking her to email or give you a copy of the promotional leaflets that are released every season. You can find some wonderful bargains on these leaflets.
The other evening I caught Miss NHM with her monitor in bed, with the light on, using it to read one of her books to her teddys. I was SO proud of her! Lol.
I’ve tried to read to Miss NHM every day for at least 30 minutes, I know this is a perk of not having a TV and of Miss NHM being an only child, but if I do anything for my daughter, I want her to have a love of reading. A love of reading opens up a world of education and possibilities.
Below is a list of other favourite books that we have, that you also might enjoy reading to your little ones. I encourage you to read to them as soon as they are born. You never know what they will absorb and where it might take them when they are older.
For this week’s Guest Post I am making an exception and including a Guest post that will be relevant to older children.
I believe that it’s important that children have the right educational support when, and if, they need it.
Louise has very kindly given me an opportunity to introduce Basing Tutors to you all.
You will have seen much discussion and comment on Private Tuition in recent months and as someone who has been tutoring for fifteen years I have been surprised at the attention it is currently receiving and any suggestion that it is something new.
I, and my small team of Tutors, have been working with local children of all ages for many years responding to needs ranging from assistance with early literacy and numeracy, SATs, independant school entrance exams, GSCE’s and on to A’ levels.
Basing Tutors provides local tutors for local people. We are a specialist service providing tuition in a range of subjects for all ages.
We are based in Old Basing and focus on an area in a 10 mile radius of Basingstoke. People like the fact that we are local, caring and professional.
Subjects taught include English, Maths, Science, French, Spanish, German, History, Psychology, English as a Second Language and many more. Age from 5 yrs to Adult.
Basing Tutors aim is to keep our tutoring service personal and local. This means that we can get to know our tutors and our clients and build a reputation for real quality and service.
One to one tuition is specifically designed for each pupil and:
As reading is an essential skill, Basing Tutors also has a specialist Reading Therapist with years of experience using our unique Sounds Good Reading Program to get children reading.
Our experience shows us that, once they are reading well, they excel in all the other subjects too. A comprehensive diagnostic reading and comprehension assessment will help you make an informed decision about your child’s reading.
Learning must be fun and fun is at the heart of what we do at Basing Tutors. It is our job to find a way to help your child in a learning style that suits your child.
The benefits of face-to-face tuition on a one-to-one basis have been proven in studies time and time again.
Tuition is personal, focused and targeted to meet the individual needs of the student. The objectives of each Basing Tutor are set by the specific needs of each individual learner.
When you contact us, we will have a chat about your needs so that we can assign the perfect tutor for you.
The tutor will call you to arrange a meeting before you decide to go ahead. This meeting is free of charge as it is important to us that everyone is happy.
Email us on admin@basingtutors.com or call Jan on 01256-470948
Read what others say about us and meet us on www.basingtutors.com
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