My Experience: Body shaming 7 year olds

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on 26th June 2018 in Children, Food, My Experience, Parents, Wellbeing 0 Comment

On Saturdays, after Miss NHM’s swimming lesson, her and Mr NHM go out for a “Daddy Daughter” date, so they can have some quality time together and have a chat.

It was during their “Daddy daughter” date on the morning of the Royal Wedding when Miss NHM suddenly said to my husband: “Daddy, I need to be skinnier”. Just matter of fact, in the way that my daughter is.

It was so out of the blue and not related to what they were discussing and he was so shocked that he just asked her why she thought that.

She said “Because ***** says I’m too fat and I need to be skinnier”.

He continued to be so shocked that he just changed the subject. When he got home he asked to talk to me in private and told me what had happened. I was just as shocked. I had NOT anticipated dealing with things like this when our daughter has just turned 7 years old.

We agreed that we wouldn’t make a big thing about it but would try to re-iterate a positive body image.

However at dinner the next evening I made a flippant comment about it being really healthy and Miss NHM piped up with: “good, I’m glad it’s really healthy as I’m too fat and I need to be skinnier”. I was so shocked again, but slightly more prepared, so I told her that she is definitely not fat and her body is just perfect as it is.

(Miss NHM already has challenges with food because of her coeliac disease and she is anything but fat.)

I emailed the head teacher on Monday who had asked me to keep them informed previously, as it’s not the first time that Miss NHM has had things like this happen to her.

The head teacher confirmed that body shaming at 7 years old isn’t as rare as you would think.

A few days later I spoke briefly to some trusted parents in the playground and a couple of the Mum’s of girls said that their 6 or 7 year old daughters had also said, at one time or another, that they were “fat”.

WOW. Just WOW. What is our society coming too?

I was very naive in thinking that because we don’t have a TV Miss NHM would be avoiding this type of thing. I hadn’t expected some of her peers to be projecting it instead!

Miss NHM hasn’t mentioned it again since that weekend but she’s being kept away from the other child in school because of their negative impact on Miss NHM anyway.

I’m sharing this not because I have any answers. I don’t have any, but in case any other Mum’s and Dad’s are freaking out about their young children saying things like this, you are not alone.

If anyone has any specific professional advice about what to do with this, then please do let me know.

I don’t know whether it’s right to not make a big thing about this with Miss NHM or whether we should be talking to her more about these things.

Why is parenting so hard at times?

Louise: I wrote this a few weeks ago and I’m not as worried about it anymore as Miss NHM hasn’t mentioned it since but it does make me a little concerned about the future and what that might bring.

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I’m taking Summer 2018 OFF from NorthHantsMum!

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on 24th June 2018 in Blogging, My Experience, NorthHantsMum 1 Comment

It’s less than a month until the end of term so I thought I better give you the heads-up that I’m taking the summer off from NorthHantsMum like I have for the past 4 years.

As you know NorthHantsMum is my hobby and I fit it in around all of the other things going on in my life. My family is my priority and it’s really important to me that I spend the six weeks summer holiday with Miss NHM, so that we can have some fun and a proper break.

After the last few harrowing years of Miss NHM’s health, this will be our first summer where she is healthy and well and we won’t be struggling with the complications of her Coeliac Disease.

Although I will still be working for most of it, we will be squeezing in lots of fun stuff in between and catching up with lots of friends that we haven’t seen during term time.

I’m also NOT going to get involved in any bloody bench auctions or anything similar. Last year’s fundraising exercise (I know I only have myself to blame for that one! Facepalm! lol) for the Jane Austen benches nearly KILLED me and although it was an amazing experience I am DEFINITELY not doing anything similar again this summer.

(If you suddenly see me doing something like that again, please, please, PLEASE send me lots of abusive messages about talking crap and slap me if you see me!!!)

I will probably post every few days over the summer as I can’t seem to help myself. But it will be more the stuff that I WANT to post than posting for everyone else.

Or I may just decide to take the summer off completely from posting on NorthHantsMum.co.uk. I haven’t quite decided yet.

We will still be working in the background on NorthHantsMum.co.uk though, cleaning things up and making it easier for you to find the posts that you are looking for.

I’m hoping that myself and the “Awesome NHM Support Team” will be putting together our annual posts of “The Ultimate NHM Summer Holiday Posts!” and “Classes still running over the Summer Holidays” so look out for those in the next few weeks.

I will still be around on “Louise nhm Smith” on FB so if you want to ask any anonymous questions please PM me and I will get to them when I can.

BUT I will be totally offline from August 17th until Tuesday 4th September because we are having a “once in a lifetime” holiday (WHOOOOOPPPPPP!!!!!), so if you would like any posts to be published in early September please email them to me now as I will be doing NOTHING from 17th Aug to 4th Sept on NorthHantsMum.

As always thank you for your amazingly fantastic support and I hope you have LOADS of exciting things planned for the summer too!

Louisex

I started NorthHantsMum 7 years ago today!

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on 22nd June 2018 in Blogging, General 0 Comment

Seven years on.

I’m still here.

So are you.

I wish I had something insightful and witty to write about 7 years of my life leading the NorthHantsMum Community but I’m too exhausted today! lol.

I STILL can’t get my head around how I’m considered to be NorthHantsMum. I think it’s because it’s not just me. There’s a whole team of us who work in the background.

Thank you especially to Juliet and Shona who have helped me so much in the past 3 years, putting posts together. Thank you also to Tina for her expert wordpress help. And the many others who have helped me during the past 7 years: Wendy, Andy, Jo, Abi, Sophie, Peta, Claire and many others (apologies if I’ve missed your name off!).

I also can’t believe it’s ONLY been 7 years. It feels like it’s been part of my life for much, much longer!!!! In a good way, of course :-D.

Anyway, Happy 7th Birthday to the NorthHantsMum Community!

Roll on summer, when I’m taking my annual 6 weeks off!!! 😀 😀 :-D.

As always, thank you for being part of the NorthHantsMum Community and for all of your support!

Louisex

Review 2018: HAIRaffair Basingstoke

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on 23rd May 2018 in Babies, Basingstoke, Clothes, Date Night, Local Mum Businesses, Mums, New Parents, Parents, Post Natal, Pregnancy, Reviews, Reviews of Things to do, Things to Do, Wellbeing 0 Comment

I recently received a message on facebook from Aideen, asking me if I would like to have my hair done in exchange for a review on NorthHantsMum.

I jumped at the chance! 😀

(There is a special offer for NHM Readers at the bottom of this post :-D)

HAIRaffair Basingstoke

Anyone who knows me, knows I’m not a “girly girl” but I do take an interest in how I look. I haven’t had my hair cut in a salon in over 10 years as I have always found hairdressers to be very intimidating places, especially as I’m not into fashion.

It turned out that at a recent fundraising raffle I had won a voucher to get my hair cut but hadn’t realised it that it was with Aideen. I actually gave the voucher to a friend who needed pampering more than me, so when Aideen got in contact it clicked that I’d given away my voucher!!!! lol.

I explained to Aideen that I wasn’t really a girly girl and she was absolutely lovely about it. I did know that I wanted my hair to be coloured but I didn’t want her to be anymore out of pocket, especially as she’d been so generous with her raffle donation.

I explained that I just wanted a trim and colour and we agreed that I would cover the cost of the colouring and she would cut my hair in exchange for this review.

About

Aideen decided on her career path when she was traveling around Australia for a year after studying at college and university. She’s always loved playing with hair but at the time she thought that she would end up in a different career. Then she saw that lots of fellow travellers cutting hair and making money flexibly and it confirmed her career decision.

Once back from Australia she worked and trained at Arc in Basingstoke town centre and then progressed to a salon in Odiham where she was assistant manager and senior stylist. Then a couple of years ago, after her son was born, she decided to convert a room in her house to her salon and she hasn’t looked back!

We had a chat when I arrived and Aideen chose the best colour for me based on what I’d told her.

Aideen then applied the foils to my hair whilst we continued chatting.

Once the foils came out, Aideen washing my hair in her fancy hair sink and gave me a lovely mini head massage.

Then Aideen cut my hair and layered it a bit. I didn’t realise how long my hair was as she cut off about 4 inches and it was still really long! lol.

We basically didn’t stop talking for the whole two hours!!! It was really lovely to chat to her and she’s a great listener.

She did a fantastic job with my hair and blow dried it straight as my hair normally has a bit of a kink about it.

I came out of Aideen’s salon literally bouncing. There is literally nothing like having 1.5 hours of being pampered and coming out with a fab new hair colour and hairstyle!

When I got home Mr NHM said “something’s different…” which is high praise in our household! lol.

Miss NHM kept telling me how beautiful I looked. She’s not used to me having my hair down.

I felt amazing for the rest of the weekend with my fab new hair!

Tips

Aideen normally works only on Saturdays but if you are desperate, she can fit you in at other times.

Facilities

Aideen’s studio is attached to her house but it’s fab because you literally have it ALL TO YOURSELF!!! She only has one to two people at a time so you have her full concentration.

Baby Facilities

Babies are very welcome at Aideen’s studio.

The perk of Aideen only having one client at a time means that you can take your baby along as there is room for a baby car seat.

If you let her know in advance that you are taking a baby with you, she said she will allow extra time in case you need to focus on your baby at any point. How fab is that!

Aideen is very understanding as she has two small children of her own.

Parking

Is free and on the drive and streets near Aideen’s house.

Prices

Prices are what you would expect for an independent hairstylist with her own studio.

For example, a cut, style and finish is £35.

Rating out of 5

Aideen did SUCH an AWESOME job! I absolutely love it!!! My hair looked amazing.

I will easily give her 5 out of 5 because she made me feel so welcome and really looked after me.

I love the colour and the cut was a really good cut. It was such a luxury to have my hair washed AND dried.

If you need a new haircut and are looking for some pampering at the same time, I highly recommend visiting Aideen’s salon!

Aideen can be reach on 07808316933 for any bookings. She also has a facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/HAIRaffairbasingstoke/

Aideen is also very kindly offering NHM Readers a first time discount £5 off cut and £15 off colour and cut booked together.

Thank you Aideen!!!!!!

Disclaimer: This post is a review of HairAffair Hairdressing. My experience was supplied free of charge for the purposes of the review. I was not expected to write a positive review and any opinions expressed are my own.

NHM Readers Recommend: Clubs and Groups in Old Basing

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on 14th May 2018 in Babies, Children, Group, Pre School, Things to Do, Toddlers 0 Comment

I recently asked the Friends of my “Louise nhm Smith” profile on Facebook if anyone could recommend clubs or groups for 3 year olds in Old Basing. (Thank you very much to everyone who responded!)

These were the responses I received. They are in no particular order.

NHM Readers Recommend Clubs and Groups in Old Basing

Tracey said: Old basing and Lychpit NCT coffee groups group is worth joining their Facebook page sure some in this group will have children going to school next year.

Aimee said: I’ve never been but I know of the Basing Beans toddler group which I think runs on a Tuesday in the Legion. Also, I wouldn’t worry too much about making friends before school….my little boy has just started at OBIS and the induction programme is fab, they have lots of settling in sessions before the summer holidays so get to know lots of people before they even set foot in the classroom. Xx

Kerryann replied: Basing Beans is the village toddler group. Please find our Facebook page or message me. Would be lovely to have you come along!

Louise Nhm Smith said: https://www.facebook.com/groups/basingbeans

Heather said: Have you thought about preschools? My son is nearly 3 and goes to Bolton Under 5s preschool. Lots of children from there go onto old basing infants. Other than that we go to basing beans which is great for meeting people.

Heather replied: Why don’t you go along to the nct coffee mornings too? They are on Wednesdays between 10 and 12 at houses around the village. I can aďd you to their Facebook group i think. They have babies and toddlers there. It’s a great way to meet lots of people.

Natalie said: Hi, Yes there’s a facebook page on here called mummy meetup Basingstoke, lots of new mums, next meetup is on friday 12.30-2pm in playden at sports centre. also there’s a group of us on mummy social, we are meeting on thurs for coffee at 11.30 in town if you want to come too?

Louise Nhm Smith said: Mummy meetup Basingstoke or Last minute mums Basingstoke.

Louise Nhm Smith said: or try NHM – A safe inclusive group for mummies who don’t know anyone

Hannah said: Basing beans is great fun. My son is also starting next year so feel free to message me as quite often we have preschool get togethers with other mums at our preschool. I’m in basing but my son is at preschool in lychpit.

Claudia said: Cathy Rowe runs Music with Mummy classes in Old Basing. Fab musical classes for preschoolers!

Pam said: We used to go to the playground behind the Millstone pub so my son could get used to lots of children as they stop off after school at about 3.30-3.45. The introduction sessions at the school were brilliant too. Familiarity so no anxiety of the unknown really helped confidence. We also enjoyed sessions at the Active Life centre for preschool children. We did a preschool freestyle session with a class structure without Mum which I thought would help him with the idea of following instructions and behaving independently of my guidance. Good for me too as able to watch what he was doing in the class on their screens too.

BASINGSTONES: Top Tips

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on 12th May 2018 in Basingstoke, Children, Family, Free, Holidays, Older Children, Outings, Pre School, Things to Do, Toddlers, Walks, Wellbeing 2 Comments

The Basics

All you need to do is paint a stone and write “Basingstones” on it. Then hide it somewhere safe for someone to find and hopefully brighten their day!

If you find a Basingstone, please post a photo of it on our Facebook Group page so we can see how far it travels. Either keep it and replace, or just hide it again somewhere new.

The Facebook Page

https://www.facebook.com/groups/basingstones/ The magic of Basingstones is what happens off social media ie the spending time together, being creative, getting outdoors, sharing and the small acts of kindness concept.

Our facebook page allows the wonderful Basingstones community to come together online to share photos and smiles but it shouldn’t be the focus. That said, here are a few tips on using the facebook group page:

Pinned Post

Please make sure you have a read of the Pinned Post – lots of important information in there!

Searching

There is a SEARCH bar which allows you to search out key words in posts – very helpful for when you are looking for a particular post by an individual or regarding a certain topic. Just type the person’s name for example and hit SEARCH.

Reporting posts

Please help us to keep the page free of sales posts, unrelated page links and spam. If you see anything inappropriate or disrespectful, please press the three dots in the right hand corner of the post, then select the option to “Report post”

Sharing photos

Note that this group is public and can be seen and accessed by anyone, so please be mindful when sharing details and posting pics. Do NOT post photos of other people’s children.

Did you know…?

…there are often competition basingstones for you to keep a lookout for!
Try searching “competition” to see what you could win

…there is a Basingstones Admin photo album for Basingstones news
hit Albums and select Basingstones Admin

…there is a thread to track international Basingstones so that we can see them pop up all over the world! (This can be found in the Basingstones Admin album)

…Basingstones has been on the radio, in the newspaper and even nominated for a community project award! Check out the Basingstones Admin Album for details

FAQs

Where can I get stones from?

Lots of garden centres and large DIY stores sell big bags of stones/cobbles for about £5. Locally, you can try The Range, Wickes, Conkers, Home Bargains, B&M, Bunnings and many more.

Taking rocks from beaches is discouraged and you could actually be fined. Whilst taking the odd stone will do no damage, we don’t want to have a negative impact on the environment.

How should I decorate basingstones?

You can paint the stone however you wish, perhaps with a pretty pattern, a fun cartoon character, an inspirational quote or an artistic design.

Please avoid sticking things to the stones though which could potentially fall off and be harmful to wildlife. We want to be friendly towards our environment and our furry friends too.

What paint is best to use?

Sharpie pens, permanent markers, nail polish, acrylic paints and clear varnish or spray (to make it weather proof) all work really well.

Why haven’t I seen a photo of the basingstone I hid?

There are thousands of group members and hundreds of posts each day. You cannot keep track of them all. Also, some people may choose not to share their photos or finds online.

Don’t worry that not all hidden basingstones get a finder post – each one makes someone smile and each one is special!

I hope this helps.

Have fun!

Rachel x
Basingstones Admin

Safe and Friendly Playgroups with a code word!

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on 9th May 2018 in Babies, Basingstoke, Classes, Dads, Group, Mums, New Parents, North Hampshire, Parents, Pre School, Things to Do, Toddlers, Vulnerable Mum's 0 Comment

I think it was last week when there was a discussion on “Louise nhm Smith” about some new Mum’s feeling very intimidated at baby and toddler groups. I’ve put a bit more thought into the “code words” idea and have come up with the following. (Yes, I know it’s a bit cheeky using NHM in the “code words” but there have to be SOME perks to what I do here ???).

The code words will be:

“NorthHantsMum sent me”

and when a new Mum says that to someone when she arrives, the organisers of that group will know immediately to take extra special care of her and ensure that she feels welcomed, etc.

If you run a local play group, toddler group or somewhere where Mum’s meet and would like to be included in the post that I am putting together of “Safe and friendly” local Mum groups, please drop me an email at NorthHantsMum@gmail.com.

Hopefully this will help those Mum’s who are new to local baby and toddler groups. Thanks!!

You can find more details for the playgroups and classes on the Activities pages on NorthHantsMum.co.uk.

Playgroups

Munchkins, Thursday 10-11:30 term time, sycamore centre, winklebury.

Basing Beans Lychpit Village Hall: Basing Beans, Lychpit Village Hall, Great Binfields Rd, Lychpit, Basingstoke RG24 8TF, Every Tuesday 10-11.30am, £2

Tuesday Tots: every Tuesday (term time) at Hall for all in Oakridge from 9:45-11:15am

Pop Up Play Village Basingstoke

Lynsey’s Little Stars parent,baby & toddler group – Old Basing

Classes

www.yogababes.co.uk

Jiggy Wrigglers classes in Basingstoke, Hook and Fleet.

NHM Readers: Football/dance classes for 2 year old

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on 5th May 2018 in After School Clubs, Children, Classes, Exercise, NHM Readers, Pre School, Sport, Things to Do, Toddlers, Wellbeing 0 Comment

I recently asked the Friends of my “Louise nhm Smith” profile on Facebook if anyone could help this NHM reader: “I am thinking of sending my two year old boy to football and/or dance classes. Does anyone have any recommendations?”

These were the responses I received. They are in no particular order. Thanks very much to Juliet for putting this post together!!!

NHM Readers recommend football/dance classes for 2 year olds

Leighann said: Basingstoke Academy of Dance is fantastic.

Fiona said: Lisa Beaumont offers ballet classes

Anita said: Lisa Beaumont School of Ballet is amazing!!! Also, my son goes to Pro-Skills Coaching Basingstoke

Vicki said: Tiny Tykes is great for football.

Christine said: My 2.5 year old really enjoys the football classes at Basingstoke Sports Centre. It’s for 2-4 year olds and run by Achieve Sports on a Monday 10-10.45 x

Heidi said: My son has been going to little kickers football since 18 months. He loves it and it helps teach them so many skills including colours, counting, animals etc.

Jessica said: Little Kickers is great for football.

Claire said: Little Kickers definitely. My son went to one at Carnival Hall when he was 2, gained loads of confidence and discipline and he is still playing grass root Sunday football at the age of 13 for a team with two friends from there.

Wendy said: RugbyTots is also worth considering. Great for hand eye coordination

Katie said: Kids Kan Dance specialise in dance for toddlers and preschoolers.

Claire said: JLD school of dancing.

Zoe said: I can recommend Katie at Kids Kan Dance, my girls love her!

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NHM Readers recommend afternoon toddler groups

Posted by Louise NorthHantsMum on 30th April 2018 in Classes, Things to Do, Toddlers 0 Comment

I recently asked the Friends of my “Louise nhm Smith” profile on Facebook if anyone could recommend any local afternoon toddler groups. (Thank you very much to everyone who responded!)

These were the responses I received. They are in no particular order.

NHM Readers Recommend Local Toddler Groups in the Afternoon

Mary said: There’s one on Tuesday at St bedes church. Have a look on the website. It’s running at half measures at the moment though because the hall was recently flooded.

Wendy replied: Term time, Currently 2pm-3pm, £1 per family. Childminders welcome (and it’s not all women, we have some Dads and Grandads who are regulars too). Follow the church’s facebook page for updates.

Louise said: Messy Monsters Basingstoke run Friday’s afternoon 12.45 x

Vicki said: Pippins at St Leonard Centre in Oakley is from 1.30pm on a Tuesday. x

Cerys said: NCT has a Coffee Group on Friday afternoons in the Hatch Warren area and you don’t have to live there to attend https://www.facebook.com/groups/731774416927318/

Katie said: Cookery Doodle Doo run classes on Wednesday afternoons and are currently seeking interest in a Thursday afternoon – PM me if this might suit you. Ages 2.5+

Rebecca said: There is a lady running talking tots groups now to encourage speech, communication and language. Talking tots will have a group starting soon on Thursday afternoon in Chineham for children who start school next year. So that is Talking Tots, they have a website.

Jaz said: Caterpillar Music Basingstoke is opening up an Tuesday afternoon class in Jan. I’ll send you all the details soon Louise as I’m massively spreading out! x

There are more activities available on the activities pages: